Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

Fun fact. Highest rated Monty and Moo-Moo episode ever.

Kids, up to this point in the story we had found doppelgangers - eerie but awesome lookalikes for four of the five of our little group. There was lesbian Robin. Mustache Marshall. Stripper Lily. And Mexican wrestler me. Yes, mine was the coolest. So we were all eager to find the fifth doppelganger, Barney's. Turns out it was more important to some of us than others.

Royce: I think you owe us an apology.
Ted: No-can-do-ski, baby doll. No-can-do-ski.

Move over Adolf Hitler, there's a new king of comedy!

Barney: Ted, please tell me you're not impugning emotional baggage.
Ted: Baggage is good?
Barney: Emotional baggage is the bedrock of America's most important cultural export.
Robin: Porn?
Barney: Actually, it's porn.

Barney: Kiss him! Kiss him!
Older Ted: Uncle Barney didn't say "kiss."
Theater employee: Sir, you need to leave. Now.
Barney: This is outrageous. Who the kiss are you?!

Marshall: Wait, you actually used Jed Mosly's catchphrase?
Ted: Oh yeah ... How do you know that's his catchphrase?
Marshall: [pauses] Hey, I wanted to see Avatar.

Barney: Ted, you are out of the gang FOREVER!
Ted: I'll see you guys tomorrow?

[thinking while reading poetry] I sound kind of douchey. I can't stop myself!

Barney: I've got five tickets to Robots vs. Wrestlers!
Ted: That is awesome!
Barney: You've heard of Robots vs. Wrestlers?
Marshall: Not at all!
Ted: But we're assuming it's some sort of sporting event putting robots ... against wrestlers!
Barney: That's exactly what it is!

[drunk, on phone] Hey Robin, it's Teddy Bear. Need a little honey? Rawwwr.

Barney: I stand by what I did. It was bold and romantic.
Ted: You soiled yourself from both ends of your body.

Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 477 in total

HIMYM Quotes

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney
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