How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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Nothing in this life quite compares to the sweet exhilaration of making your move. When you just put it all on the line and go for it.

Ted voiceover

Barney: Dude you are so in, a high five doesn't cut it. High Six!
Ted: She didn't see us High Six did she?
Robin: No.
Barney: Good. That was pretty lame.
Ted: Yeah, let's never do that again.

Ted: Gotta see her ankles.
Robin: You're one of those? I swear, one in five guys.

Ted: She's got her shields up anyway; she's reading a book.
Barney: Yeah! At a bar! The book might as well be called Are Ya There Barney? It's Me Horny. That is not what "shields up" looks like. (Enter Robin disheveled) THAT is what "shields up" looks like.

Barney: Oh yeah? Be my guest. Fall in love with her, get married. Just know this, when I step up to make my toast as your best man?
Ted: Actually Marshall will probably be my-
Barney: AS YOUR BEST MAN!!!

Ted: Barney I really have to grade these papers.
Barney: I'm sorry. I'll let you work...But first a riddle! What piece of women's attire stokes a man's desire?
Ted: A sundress.
Barney: Correct. What lightweight outfit pink or white makes the front of my slacks abnormally tight?
Ted: I really have to get this done.
Barney: Of course of course. Sundress by the way.

Ted (sipping a beer): This is what church has been missing. Dude, you fixed Church!
Marshall: You're welcome, God.

Marshall: Beer be with you...
Ted: And also with you.

Ultimately, we only see what we want to see when we're ready to see it.

Barney: No! Time out! This is a group decision! You can't just move to Chicago unless we all say it's okay!
Ted: Barney, I think this has to be Robin's-
Barney: Stay out of this Brigitte Nielsen or Dolph Lundgren from Rocky IV!

Let's just say there were some senior citizens who attempted to "drown" on my watch ... and sadly one who did.

Marshall: Ted, I love you buddy, but there is no way you can pull off blonde.
Lily: Seriously, Ted, don't do it.
Ted: I'm going blonde!
Lily: Awwww.
Marshall: That is NOT the outcome we were hoping for.

Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 477 in total

HIMYM Quotes

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney
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