Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS

Just be cool, Lady. Damn.

It's been a major pleasure, Major Pleasure.

Here's the secret kids. None of us can vow to be perfect. In the end all we can do is promise to love each other with everything we've got. Because love's the best thing we do.

It doesn't have to make sense to make sense.

I refuse to be a part of a third runaway bride situation.

The Mother: What are you doing?
Ted: Remembering this.

You will be shocked kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That's why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.


And that's how it goes kids. The friends, neighbors, drinking buddies and partners in crime you love so much when you're young, as the years go by, you just lose touch.

Ted: Singles tables are cruel. I mean what if you went to a wedding and there was a table of all fat guys?
Marshall: That would be awesome.

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