Why don't you hurry on to your next face-widening session at the John Travolta Institute for Head Thickening and Facial Weight Gain?

Truth is, journal, I'm attracted to men. Sure, I can't stand watching them eat or talk, but when it comes to getting sexy, this gal's got a hole in her heart that only a fella can fill.

My iPhone 5 is vibrating. That's a new feature of the iPhone 5, they vibrate now.

I lost an enormous last minute bet I placed on myself with a shady Las Vegas bookie.

It's a reporter from USA Today. The newspaper for people who can't read.

If I wanna win this race, I need 20 cc's of man. Stat!

Why would someone assume I'm a Friend of Ellen just because I'm manish and I have short hair and I only wear track suits and I coach a girls' sport and I married myself?

It's not personal Porcelain, it's politics.

I'm Sue Sylvester, I have a human heart and I approve this message.

I heard. And I am literally horny with fear.

Why it isn't Porcelain's dad, who may or may not have a baboon heart?

If this nation wants to impress its future Chinese overlords, we need to get our priorities straight.

Glee Quotes

Rachel: I'm just scared. I haven't been this scared in my whole life. You know, when I was in high school and I had all these big Broadway dreams, I just got used to everyone laughing at me and I figured one day I would make it and I would show them that I'm not a joke anymore. And then I did and it all fell apart and I realized that there is a whole different kind of lauging that is way worse. So...I can't. I can't fail again.
Mercedes: Rachel, we're all going to fail again and again...the hardest part is just getting up, shaking it off, and getting on with it. Let me tell you this, when you sing? Nobody's laughing.

God as my witness, I will break her down.

Santana