I just got a text from Becky, replete with hilarious auto-corrects.

Are you still at freakishbonyginger@gmail?

First, smoking kills. Second, it really does make you look cooler, doesn't it?

I need the two of you to escort me to me hyperbaric chamber, as I have glitter in my eyes.

I've put plastic on your chair, so feel free to wet yourself with excitement.

Allow me to ladle you a piping hot bowl of This is How It Is.

How is it going with Emma? I'm sure everything in the bedroom is completely normal.

This isn't the 1960s anymore when jobs are plentiful. And it's not personal, Will Schuester.

Sue: I have spent the entire year being nothing but kind to you people.
Tina: Today is only the second day of school.

I thought people wanted a candidate that was for something. That's why I took that pro-deportation stance.

I am running at 6 percent, well behind Undecided, That rapist running from prison and I don't care, Please don't call me during dinner.

I'm gonna stop you right there Becky. Have you ever heard of menopause?

Glee Quotes

[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.

Brittany

Blaine: Where's the bed?
Brittany: I removed it because when I imagined you two having sex I imagined a U-haul mounting a moped.