Puckerman I appreciate your commitment to winning, but without a doubt you are the ugliest woman I have ever seen. For a second there I thought you were Beiste's sister.

Tina: My name is Tina. Tina Cohen Chang.
Sue: Isn't she the one who used to stutter?

You only have yourselves to blame. And the liberal media.

[to Joe] "What are you looking at Jar-Jar Binks?"

"I don't know if it's the sentimental fetus in me, but I think it's my best batch ever. Nothing but fruit juicy red, Manhattan seltzer, and seven tablespoons of Visine, just so we get out of here on time."

"Advertisers are manipulative alcoholics who use images to play on our emotions. Haven't you seen Mad Men?"

Santana: What happened to Beiste? Did we do something wrong?
Sue: Well, you completely butchered one of my all-time favorite Kandor and Ebb tunes, while completely missing the point of absolutely everything.

Now I realize this room is America's #1 destination for cheap, sappy moralizing, but your insensitive behavior is about to subject you to a whole new level of preachiness.

I spent the weekend sending your photo to ivory poachers who could make an absolute fortune selling your enormous white teeth on the black market.

Brittany thought of it. She gets an idea once every couple years and, lucky for us, this was a good one.

Sue: Her chagrin is limited only by the fact that she has a brain the size of a toddler's fist.
Brittany: I can show you the MRI.

Let's be honest, William. You've been out of ideas since Madonna week.

Glee Quotes

Rachel: I'm just scared. I haven't been this scared in my whole life. You know, when I was in high school and I had all these big Broadway dreams, I just got used to everyone laughing at me and I figured one day I would make it and I would show them that I'm not a joke anymore. And then I did and it all fell apart and I realized that there is a whole different kind of lauging that is way worse. So...I can't. I can't fail again.
Mercedes: Rachel, we're all going to fail again and again...the hardest part is just getting up, shaking it off, and getting on with it. Let me tell you this, when you sing? Nobody's laughing.

God as my witness, I will break her down.

Santana