[to Joe] "What are you looking at Jar-Jar Binks?"

"I don't know if it's the sentimental fetus in me, but I think it's my best batch ever. Nothing but fruit juicy red, Manhattan seltzer, and seven tablespoons of Visine, just so we get out of here on time."

"Advertisers are manipulative alcoholics who use images to play on our emotions. Haven't you seen Mad Men?"

Santana: What happened to Beiste? Did we do something wrong?
Sue: Well, you completely butchered one of my all-time favorite Kandor and Ebb tunes, while completely missing the point of absolutely everything.

Now I realize this room is America's #1 destination for cheap, sappy moralizing, but your insensitive behavior is about to subject you to a whole new level of preachiness.

I spent the weekend sending your photo to ivory poachers who could make an absolute fortune selling your enormous white teeth on the black market.

Brittany thought of it. She gets an idea once every couple years and, lucky for us, this was a good one.

Sue: Her chagrin is limited only by the fact that she has a brain the size of a toddler's fist.
Brittany: I can show you the MRI.

Let's be honest, William. You've been out of ideas since Madonna week.

It's in my DNA to be intense, okay, just like it's in Porcelain's DNA to poop rainbow glitter.

Sue: Will you sign my breast?
Cooper: My pleasure. "Keep on dreaming. Yours ... Cooper Anderson."

Sue: Hey, Mercedes, who you texting?
Mercedes: I'm not texting anyone, I'm donating to the Obama campaign...

Glee Quotes

[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.

Brittany

I just want somebody to love me.

Quinn