When I showed this to Brittany, she whimpered and thought I cut down a small tree where a family of gummy people lived.

Hoarders is great. But Animal Hoarders is better.

Sue and Holly

Less than 24 hours after my plan to replace all chairs with sharp poles, in my war against sitting... I need a cause.

Will: I thought we were friends.
Sue: That got boring.

My years-long quest for power has finally bore fruit.

Will: Coach Beiste quit?
Sue: I believe I just said that Annie Sullivan. You want me to sign it into your palm.

You gotta show him who's the boss. Great. Now I picture them making out to an episode of Who's the Boss.

Know what kind of disgusting images I'm gonna need to stare at now to get that out of my head? Gonna have to go to the wound care center. Gonna have to stare at some wounds.

People who dress like librarians? All sex addicts.

Sue: We've lost the true meaning of Halloween: fear.

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Children must know fear. Without it, they'll try Frenching grizzly bears or trying to live in Florida.

I realize you're only half orangutan, but I'm still allergic to your lustrous, ginger mane.

Glee Quotes

[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.

Brittany

I just want somebody to love me.

Quinn