I demand entertainment!

Applause is an addiction, like heroin or checking your e-mail.

Sideshow Mel: At least the cup is lined with felt.
Moe: Hey Mr. Positive, shut the hell up.

Sideshow Mel: Bleh! There's cheese in this sandwich! Surely you know I'm lactose intolerant!
Bart: Sorry.
Sideshow Mel: Sorry? Do you know how sick this is going to make me? Come stand next to the bathroom door, I want to yell at you some more.

Groundskeeper Willie: Come on ya pansies, I've seen fiercer fights in parliament
Sideshow Mel: What is this, prime minister's question time?

The Simpsons Quotes

Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. ---Woodrow

"Woodrow"

You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.

Grampa