Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation

I don't want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief.

Tom, we're already late. Now be a man and sit on that girl's lap!

We need to get Leslie something that erases the enormous emotional debt that has built up over years of this gift-giving imbalance.

Ron: Ben and a much larger Ann. She definitely loves Ann.
Ann: Awwwww.

So it learns information about me?

Ron: She's here.
Leslie: Who's here?
Ron: My ex-wife Tammy 2. I can smell the sulfur coming off her cloven hooves.

Of all my coworkers he is one of a small number of whom I do not actively root against...uh, there I go again gettin' all sappy.

My first day of college my father dropped me off at the steel mill. He didn't think I should go to college, but I hitched a ride, enrolled, and learned a lot.

Every two weeks I need to sand down my toe nails. They're too strong for clippers.

It is a beautiful night for the end of the world.

Leslie: If the world was ending tomorrow I'd want to be with him.
Ron: Well that's significant the problem is the world's not ending tomorrow.

Ron: No home is complete without a proper toolbox. Here's April and Andy's: A hammer, a half eaten pretzel, a baseball card, some cartridge that says Sonic and Hedgehog, a scissor half, a flashlight filled with jellybeans.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 255 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

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