Leslie: Merry congratuchristmas!
Ron: What?

Ron: I started working on something very important. Can you help me?
Chris: Yes sir.
Ron: It's a flight of stairs leading to nowhere.

Breakfast food can serve many purposes.

Diane: Hey, am I interrupting something important?
Ron: Impossible. I work for the government.

I'm giving you a non-electronic book made of paper from a tree. It is called Auto Repair Manual-1982. You will read this book from cover to cover then you will assist me in repairing the damage to my car. I will not report you to the judge but if you slip up again you will have much more to fear than some feeble government employee in a robe.

Chris: What did you do for her?
Ron: Fixed her pothole.
Chris: Is that a euphemism?

Andy: Can we please make you into a princess?
Ron: No.
Andy: I think it would make Diane happy.
Ron: Why does that matter? Shut up.

Little girl 1: I'm a princess.
Little girl 2: I'm a mermaid.
Ron: I'm the director of Parks and Recreation.

Ron: Take this compass. All great adventurers need one.
Leslie: As far as all this firing stuff goes...I will not forget and I will never forgive you.

Ron: I went to Paunch Burger and got a number two: Double Bacon Grenade Deluxe with hash browns, chili cheese fries, and one poached egg.
Ann: Ugh, number two is right.

Your work is appreciated. Eat some corn.

These people are meat virgins. They'll have been taken by the grill and delicately and tenderly been shown the ways of flavorful meat love. Mmmm...the first time is so beautiful.