It's f*cking milk.

Ben: Please write it in cursive, it raises a lot of red fl-
Ron: No.

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I prefer quality over flash - that's why I refuse to write my signature in cursive.

Tammy does not abide by the Geneva Convention.

Leslie: Have you ever seen Monster's Inc?
Ron: No.
Leslie: Damn it Ron! Engage in the culture once.

Leslie: Ron, I just want you to know that I am not sorry for pushing your face into a cake.
Ron: Well I am sorry - for attending a public event.

Yes, the sky has land.

Ron: Hello Knope.
Leslie: Hello former strange person I used to friend. You're looking very Ron-like.
Ron: You have your same hair.
Leslie: No! I don't! I have bangs now!
Ron: I've never known what bangs are and I don't intend to learn!

Donna: Your family has made you a more patient and empathetic person.
Ron: You take that back!

Live your life how you want, but don’t confuse drama with happiness.

Hello, Joe. My name is Ron Swanson. I am Donna’s work-proximity associate.

Ben: I really like you, but you are a terrible person to talk to about personal stuff.
Ron: Thank you, that means a lot to me.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: There's an old saying in show business: The show must go wrong. Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.