Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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What's cholesterol?

Ann: How many drinks of alcohol do you consume a week?
Ron: One.
Ann: That's it? One drink?
Ron: One shelf.
Ann: Do you exercise?
Ron: Yes. Lovemaking and woodworking.
Ann: Do you have any history of mental illness in your family?
Ron: I have an uncle who does yoga.

Ron: There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that's lying about being milk.

I'll represent myself as I do in all legal matters and livestock auctions.

Ron: I'll have number eight.
Waiter: That's a party platter.
Ron: I know what I am, son.

I wish this office had only walls.

People who buy things are suckers.

Before we go in there, I want to say something. You are a wonderful person. Our friendship means a lot to me. And you look very beautiful.

Leslie: Ron, I'm going to need you to walk me down the aisle.
Ron: It would be an honor. And the first time I won't regret walking down the aisle.

Your house isn't haunted. You're lonely.

The next thing you'll want to do is ditch the terrier and get yourself a proper dog. Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat and cats are pointless.

I wouldn't know. I've never been hungover. After I've had too much whiskey, I cook myself a large flank steak, pan fried and salted butter. I eat that, put on a pair of wet socks and go to sleep.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 255 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

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