It's f*cking milk.

Ben: Please write it in cursive, it raises a lot of red fl-
Ron: No.

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I prefer quality over flash - that's why I refuse to write my signature in cursive.

Tammy does not abide by the Geneva Convention.

Leslie: Have you ever seen Monster's Inc?
Ron: No.
Leslie: Damn it Ron! Engage in the culture once.

Leslie: Ron, I just want you to know that I am not sorry for pushing your face into a cake.
Ron: Well I am sorry - for attending a public event.

Yes, the sky has land.

Ron: Hello Knope.
Leslie: Hello former strange person I used to friend. You're looking very Ron-like.
Ron: You have your same hair.
Leslie: No! I don't! I have bangs now!
Ron: I've never known what bangs are and I don't intend to learn!

Donna: Your family has made you a more patient and empathetic person.
Ron: You take that back!

Live your life how you want, but don’t confuse drama with happiness.

Hello, Joe. My name is Ron Swanson. I am Donna’s work-proximity associate.

Ben: I really like you, but you are a terrible person to talk to about personal stuff.
Ron: Thank you, that means a lot to me.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Sometimes when you make an omelet you've gotta break a few eggs. What's the alternative? No omelets at all? Who wants to live in that kind of world? Maybe birds. Then all their babies would live.

Leslie

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April