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Parks-and-recreation

Mark: You've got hazardous chemicals over here.
Ron: Yeah, which only I am breathing. It's the same liberty that gives me the right to fart in my own car. Are you going to tell a man that he can't fart in his own car?

Mark: Ron, none of this is up to code.
Ron: Sure it is. It's up to the Swanson code.

Hey, Mark. Welcome to my haven. You're the first non-me to set foot in this building in ten years.

Leslie: Ron will show you around.
Ron: Um, right this way is the exit.

Elise: But, if you give a women's award to a mustacheoed, masculine man such as yourself, well then eventually people take notice.
Ron: I don't want the damn thing.
Elise: Well we're giving it to you. So, you're going to take it, like a man. So congratulations.

Ron: Come on Leslie, you know I'm not sexist. I love powerful women.
Leslie: You do attend a shocking number of WNBA games.

Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner because I've won an award.

Which of these objects most represents women for this portrait? A pot? Or this deputy director Barbie? Isn't it adorable? She's got a little briefcase, her cell phone.

Be proud of yourself. You deserve an award. Not this one, obviously. This one belongs to me. But some other one. Some other lesser award.

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