Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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It's like yoga, except I still get to kill something.

All of you be quiet. Andy, she's mad because you said "awesome sauce" instead of "I love you too." April, he loves you. Stop being a child. Tom, you're clearly at fault here. Blaming Jerry won't save you. Jerry, we both know you were shotgunning funnel cakes instead of watching Lil Sebastian. So everyone apologize to everyone else.

Leslie: So everybody gather around. Let's grab hands.
Ron: I don't hold hands.

Leslie: Chris is cheating on Ann. There's evidence everywhere. She's coming up here so they can have it out.
Ron: Ask her to bring some garlic salt. I'm worried Chris doesn't have any.

When I'm done eating a Mulligan's meal, for weeks afterwards, there are flecks of meat in my mustache. And I refuse to clean it because every now and then a piece of meat will fall into my mouth.

Ron: Indianapolis is home to Charles Mulligan's Steakhouse, the best damn steakhouse in the damn state. I have taken a picture of every steak I've ever eaten there. June 2004: Porterhouse, medium rare, Bearnaise sauce. January 2000: They call this one, The Enforcer. February '96: The steak ribeye. The Whiskey: Lagavulin 16. The lady next to me? A bitch. Specifically, my ex-wife Tammy. OK, this is the first I ever went there. Look at me. Just a kid.

Leslie, you need to understand that we are headed to the most special place on earth. When I'm done eating a Mulligan's meal, for weeks afterwards there flecks of meat in my mustache and I refuse to clean it because every now and then a piece of meat will fall into my mouth.

What happened to the steaks that were in there when they closed? (tearily) Do you think they got eaten?

Ron: You may have thought you heard me say I wanted a lot of bacon and eggs, but what I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.

Encapsulate the spirit of melancholy. Easy. Boom, a sad desk. Boom, sad wall. It's art. Anything is anything.

No, I don't care about their relationship. I just don't want to lose April. I would never be able to find a worst assistant.

Why are you working the permit's desk, and why was that child clubbing your nuggets?

Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 255 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing.

Ron