Never half ass two things, whole ass one thing.

I never thought I would say this to you son, but you may be over thinking this.

Ron: Thank you all for being here, let's get started.
Leslie: Wow, great attitude Ron.
Ron: Sorry, I was talking to these ribs.

I hate riddles, and other such nonsense. I want that on record, but something wicked with a book is my ex-wife's library.

When I eat it is the food that is scared.

Straight down the middle, no hook, no spin, no fuss. Anything more and this becomes figure skating.

Ron: Tom, I'm asking you as a man to stop this immediately!
Ron: What the f***?

The important thing is the dam is never happening, and your dream has been crushed.

I don't want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief.

Tom, we're already late. Now be a man and sit on that girl's lap!

We need to get Leslie something that erases the enormous emotional debt that has built up over years of this gift-giving imbalance.

Ron: Ben and a much larger Ann. She definitely loves Ann.
Ann: Awwwww.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Andy: There's an old saying in show business: The show must go wrong. Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April