Ron: Take this compass. All great adventurers need one.
Leslie: As far as all this firing stuff goes...I will not forget and I will never forgive you.

Ron: I went to Paunch Burger and got a number two: Double Bacon Grenade Deluxe with hash browns, chili cheese fries, and one poached egg.
Ann: Ugh, number two is right.

Your work is appreciated. Eat some corn.

These people are meat virgins. They'll have been taken by the grill and delicately and tenderly been shown the ways of flavorful meat love. Mmmm...the first time is so beautiful.

In my opinion, not enough people have looked their dinner in the eyes and considered the circle of life. This is your dinner. His name is Tom.

Jerry: Can we at least have corn on the cob?
Ron: No.

Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

Chris: You and I will embark in a quick session of heart-rate meditation, focusing on conscious breathing and opening the heart shakra.
Ron: I'm not sure I'm interested in that. No, I am sure, I'm not interested in that.

I have so many ideas. Some are simple like take down traffic lights and eliminate the post office. The bigger ones will be tougher, like 'bring all this crumbling to the ground.'

Anyone want to go to JJ's for some after dinner omelets?

I work hard to make sure my department is as small and as ineffective as possible.

Jerry's work is often adequate.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Just remember every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, that’s impossible.

Andy