Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation

Donna: Your family has made you a more patient and empathetic person.
Ron: You take that back!

Live your life how you want, but don’t confuse drama with happiness.

Hello, Joe. My name is Ron Swanson. I am Donna’s work-proximity associate.

Ben: I really like you, but you are a terrible person to talk to about personal stuff.
Ron: Thank you, that means a lot to me.

I don’t drink alcohol from that portion of the color system.

Andy: You know when you go to the ATM and get money—is there an actual guy that stands there and gives you money?
Ron: No.
Andy: Yeah, those are robots.

Ron: Spending the day outside alone sounds like a dream. I love being a father, but there are a few things I miss: silence, the absence of noise, one single moment undisturbed by a children’s tv program called Doc McStuffins.

On nights like this when the cold winds blow, the air is awash in the swirling eddies of our dream, come with me and find safe haven in a warm bathtub full of my jazz.

Duke Silver

He now has that look that only comes with the pride of labor. Or…he pooped. Either way, I’ve never been prouder.

My son is several weeks old. He is very familiar with the sound of power tools.

I’d like to introduce you to my son. John, middle name redacted, Swanson.

Veganism is the sad result of a morally corrupt mind. Reconsider your life.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 255 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

× Close Ad