Ron: We will get along just fine, though hopefully not too fine, because I am not looking for any new friends. End speech.
Leslie: Well said.

I'll take that steak to go. Please and thank you.

Haha, "Euro-trash," I like that. That is indeed a garbage continent.

His barber, butcher, and lover. I have lost one of them today.

Because this tree is strong and quite, and always there when you need it. Or whatever.

I change my locks every 16 days. That key's been useless since the 2nd Tuesday I gave it to you.

It's an impossible puzzle, and I love puzzles!

Creativity is for people with glasses who like to lie.

Ron: Tom is quite taken with you.
Lucy: He's taken with me, huh?
Ron: He said he'd marry you tomorrow.

Say what you want about organized religion, but those bastards knew how to construct an edifice.

Also they called three hours ago, and said they approved the plans.

Ron: I'm not a spy, and I would not reveal classified information -
Ben: Do you have to say that every time?
Ron: Yeah.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!


Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.