Mondays 10:00 PM on ABC
Castle

Whatever crazy theory I could have come up with, this is better.

Ryan: And you're letting her?
Castle: Well apparently the only way to stop her is by locking her up but according to Miss By-the-Book here that's unlawful imprisonment.

Lanie: A lot of weirdos out there with too much imagination is what happened and yes, I'm looking at you Castle.
Castle: Yes but I only commit my murders on paper. I don't actually do them. A lot more lucrative, a lot less prison.

Ryan: What does it say about your writing when your number one fan tries to kill you?
Castle: That was an accident.
Esposito: One inch higher it would have been a tragedy.

Dude, they're donuts. Either you're in or you're out.

Kate: I've been kind of looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you so don't do anything stupid in there, OK?
Castle: Don't worry. I think I've already hit my stupid quota for the day.

Kate: What am I going to do, just sleep in every morning and screw around till the phone rings? What kind of life is that?
Castle: Mine.

Kate: I might as well apply to become a mall cop.
Castle: Ooh, you would look great on a Segway.

At least we know we're in the right place. I definitely stepped in something.

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