I have to go to the gas station across the street. I mean, I was dressed like half an ape and still not even close to the most disgusting person in there.
Penny: So, we're about to shoot this scene in the movie where the killer ape DNA is slowly taking over my body.
Penny: But I realize they're gluing fur everywhere, except my cleavage. So, I asked
the director why and he says, it's important to the story that my boobs be the last things to turn ape.
Leonard: It's sweet that he thinks there's a story.
Penny: Wait. What's wrong with geology?
Sheldon: Let me put this in a way you'll understand, Penny. You remember how you explained to me that the Kardashians aren't real celebrities? Well, geology is the Kardashians of science.
Penny: I gave him a new look. It's cute, huh?
Amy: Yeah, it's cute. That's the problem. I don't need other girls to see him walking around like sex on a stick.
Sheldon: She's right. I'm too hot.
Sheldon: Quick poll: PS4 or Xbox One? Raj.
Raj: Uh, Xbox One.
Howard: Both great.
Bernadette: I like the Wii.
Sheldon: Thanks, Grandma
Penny: Okay, look, here, page 58. I oil-wrestle an orangutan
in a bikini.
Leonard: Just to clarify, which one of you is wearing the bikini?
Penny: Both of us.
Leonard: So it's a family film.
Penny: Next time I get pulled over for a speeding ticket, here come the waterworks.
Sheldon [running to bathroom]: Here come the waterworks!
Leonard: Aren't you gonna ask?
Penny: What is this, my first day?
Penny: Who's the murderer?
Raj: Any question but that.
Penny: Sorry ... hey, who's not the murderer?
Penny: Are you going to lay on the floor and pretend to be dead all night?
Stuart: What do you think I'd do at home?
Penny: This isn't your car.
Leonard: I know. I thought we'd take yours.
Penny: I'm sorry, is the fact that my life's falling apart interfering with your board game?
Sheldon: It is.
Penny: Okay, I don't think Meryl Streep ever had to say (deep voice): "Must keep gorilla hands from killing again."
Raj: If she did, it would be amazing. That woman can do no wrong.