The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Bark once if you need me to call PETA.

How can you not be happy? You're tall, thin and famous. Oh, my God. I'm jealous of Sheldon.

Penny: "Want of Understanding"? What does that even mean?
Amy: Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.

Penny: We had one of those silly fake weddings.
Leonard: Penny ... you know those are real, right?
Penny: No, they're not.
Leonard: Yeah, they are.
Penny: No, they're not.
Leonard: Yeah, they are.
Sheldon: He's right.
Amy: They're real.
Penny: But, it didn't seem real.

Raj: That's horrible. Why would you push a cow over? They're sacred.
Penny: Oh, stop it. I've seen you eat, like, a million hamburgers.
Raj: Hey, an animal can be both sacred and delicious.

Sweetie ... every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

I may be a bad waitress, but you're a bad person. Now, want to hear the specials?

Leonard: How about that? Sheldon's being reasonable.
Penny: Yeah, it's freaking me out. I'm gonna go.

Penny: Ooh, that looks like fun.
Bernadette: Maybe you should master glue before you move on to fire.

Penny: Just you wait and see. I'm gonna romance your freakin' ass off.
Leonard: That's beautiful. Is that Shakespeare?

Sex doesn't count.

Penny: Hey, how come you've never done anything romantic to celebrate our first date?
Leonard: Well, for starters, you've broken up with me so many times, which first date are we talking about?

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 361 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.