The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Penny: I can't believe Leonard is spending hundred of dollars on scalped tickets.
Amy: Last week, you spent that on a little dress.
Penny: Yeah, but those tickets only get him into Comic-Con. That dress gets me into anywhere I want.

Leonard: Look, if you want to break up, just say it.
Penny: Leonard....
Leonard: No, no, no, I take it back, don't say it. Just hate me but stay with me. It worked for my parents.
Penny: Listen. I don't want to break up with you.

Penny: Why are you sitting in the stairwell?
Sheldon: Leonard told me to stay.
Penny: Oh. Well, good boy.

Sheldon: *whines*
Penny: You want to come with me?
Sheldon: Really?
Penny: Come on boy! Come on! Let's go!

Sheldon: I've read that there are great yogis who have such mastery over their bodies they can draw water in through their genitals.
Penny: Yeah well I don't think we're going to get to do that today.
Sheldon: Too bad. Seems like a good way to drink a milkshake without getting brain freeze

Leonard: Listen. I could never do what you're doing. I'd be terrified.
Penny: Well it's scary for me too.
Sheldon: I'm fine with it.
Leonard: My point is: just because I couldn't do it doesn't mean you shouldn't. And I'm proud of you.
Penny: Okay. Thank you.

Penny: Let's get married?
Leonard: What?
Penny: Leonard Hofstadter, will you marry me?
Leonard: Um....
Penny: Did you seriously just say "Umm..."?

I took a temp job as a waitress forever ago and I can't quit, because guess what? I can't do anything else.

Leonard: Can we talk?
Penny: We can, but the part of "Penny" might get cut.

You didn't get your part cut. You didn't get your part cut. Yep. A bunch of old guys rockinig out in a band, all with erectile dysfunction, you didn't get your part cut!"

Amy: What's the show?
Penny: Um, NC ... II .... Or, you know, NCSTD ... I don't know, it's the one with all the letters and I'm gonna be on it!

Penny: So what do you think.
Sheldon: A tad asymmetrical but nothing to be worried about.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 362 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Sheldon: Ugh! English pudding. Y-You get yourself all excited for pudding, and here comes a cake with raisins in it. I'm not going.
Amy: You're going.
Sheldon: Why do you hate me?
Amy: I don't hate you. I love you.
Sheldon: Well, you call it love, but it has a lot of raisins in it.