Penny: What actor holds the record for being named People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive?
Sheldon: William Shatner!
Leonard: I don't think it's Shatner.
Sheldon: Then it's got to be Patrick Stewart
- Permalink: What actor holds the record for being named People magazine's Se...
Leonard: Sheldon, you have to let somebody else answer.
Penny: Because it's polite.
Sheldon: What do manners have to do with it? This is war. Were the Romans polite when they salted the ground of Carthage to make sure nothing would ever grow again?
- Permalink: Sheldon, you have to let somebody else answer. Why? Because ...
[Raj whispers in Wolowitz's ear]
Penny: What did he say?
Wolowitz: He compared Sheldon to a disposable feminine cleansing product one might use on a summer's eve.
Penny: Yeah, and the bag it came in
- Permalink: What did he say? He compared Sheldon to a disposable feminine ...
Sheldon: In Texas, when a cow stops giving milk, they don't continue feeding her. They take her out and shoot her between the eyes.
Penny: I'm confused. Did Sheldon stop giving milk?
- Permalink: In Texas, when a cow stops giving milk, they don't continue feed...
Wolowitz: We need a hot 15-year-old Asian girl with a thing for smart guys.
Leonard: Howard, that's racist. Any fifteen year old girl will do the trick
- Permalink: We need a hot 15-year-old Asian girl with a thing for smart guys...
[at The Cheesecake Factory]
Penny: Why didn't you just have soup at home?
Sheldon: Penny, I have an IQ of 187. Don't you imagine if there were a way for me to have soup at home, I would have thought of it?
Penny: You can have soup delivered.
Sheldon: I did not think of that
- Permalink: Why didn't you just have soup at home? Penny, I have an IQ of ...
Sheldon: Anyway, the housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak any English. When I finaly managed to convince her I was sick, she said, "MÃ¶chtest du eine DarmspÃ¼lung?"
Penny: What does that mean?
Sheldon: Based on what happened next, I assume it means, "Would you like an enema?"
- Permalink: Anyway, the housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak an...
Every family in America has a relative holed up in a garage somewhere huffing paint thinner
- Permalink: Every family in America has a relative holed up in a garage some...
Leonard: Penny, say hello to Leo.
Penny: Hi, Leo. How are you feeling?
"Leo": Have you ever woken up in a flea-bag motel, covered in your own vomit, next to a transsexual prostitute?
"Leo": Then don't ask me how I'm feeling.
- Permalink: Penny, say hello to Leo. Hi, Leo. How are you feeling? Have ...
Sheldon [knocking on Penny's door]: Penny, Penny, Penny...
[Penny opens the door]
Sheldon: Good morning.
Penny: Do you have any idea what time it is?
Sheldon: Of course I do, my watch is linked to the atomic clock in Boulder, Colorado. It's accurate to one-tenth of a second, but as I'm saying this it occurs to me once again your question may have been rhetorical
- Permalink: Penny, Penny, Penny... Good morning. Do you have any idea ...
Wolowitz: I just checked the house. There's probably 20, 25 people in there.
Leonard: You're kidding!
Penny: Is that all?
Leonard: "All?" In particle physics, 25 is Woodstock.
- Permalink: I just checked the house. There's probably 20, 25 people in ther...
Penny: So, you know, isn't there maybe some way you and Sheldon could compromise on this whole presentation thing?
Leonard: No. Scientists do not compromise. Our minds are trained to synthesize facts and come to inarguable conclusions. Not to mention Sheldon is bat-crap crazy
- Permalink: So, you know, isn't there maybe some way you and Sheldon could c...