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Leonard [about the time machine]: The lights flash, and the dish spins. You wanna try it?
Penny: No, I don't wanna try it! My God, you are grown men! How could you waste your lives with these stupid toys and costumes, and comic books, and-and... now that-that...
Sheldon: Againâ€”time machine.
Penny: Oh, please, that's not a time machine. If anything, it looks like something Elton John would drive through the Everglades
- Permalink: The lights flash, and the dish spins. You wanna try it? No, I ...
Penny [to Leonard]: Look, you are a great guy, and it is the things you love that make you who you are.
Wolowitz: I guess that makes me large breasts
- Permalink: Look, you are a great guy, and it is the things you love that ma...
Sheldon: You hypocrite!
Sheldon: Little Miss 'Grown-ups don't play with toys', if I went into that apartment right now, would I not find Beanie Babies? Are you not an accumulator of Care Bears and My Little Ponies? And who is that Japanese feline I see frolicking on your shorts? Hello, Hello Kitty!
- Permalink: You hypocrite! What? Little Miss 'Grown-ups don't play with ...
Penny: What actor holds the record for being named People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive?
Sheldon: William Shatner!
Leonard: I don't think it's Shatner.
Sheldon: Then it's got to be Patrick Stewart
- Permalink: What actor holds the record for being named People magazine's Se...
Leonard: Sheldon, you have to let somebody else answer.
Penny: Because it's polite.
Sheldon: What do manners have to do with it? This is war. Were the Romans polite when they salted the ground of Carthage to make sure nothing would ever grow again?
- Permalink: Sheldon, you have to let somebody else answer. Why? Because ...
[Raj whispers in Wolowitz's ear]
Penny: What did he say?
Wolowitz: He compared Sheldon to a disposable feminine cleansing product one might use on a summer's eve.
Penny: Yeah, and the bag it came in
- Permalink: What did he say? He compared Sheldon to a disposable feminine ...
Sheldon: In Texas, when a cow stops giving milk, they don't continue feeding her. They take her out and shoot her between the eyes.
Penny: I'm confused. Did Sheldon stop giving milk?
- Permalink: In Texas, when a cow stops giving milk, they don't continue feed...
Wolowitz: We need a hot 15-year-old Asian girl with a thing for smart guys.
Leonard: Howard, that's racist. Any fifteen year old girl will do the trick
- Permalink: We need a hot 15-year-old Asian girl with a thing for smart guys...
[at The Cheesecake Factory]
Penny: Why didn't you just have soup at home?
Sheldon: Penny, I have an IQ of 187. Don't you imagine if there were a way for me to have soup at home, I would have thought of it?
Penny: You can have soup delivered.
Sheldon: I did not think of that
- Permalink: Why didn't you just have soup at home? Penny, I have an IQ of ...
Sheldon: Anyway, the housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak any English. When I finaly managed to convince her I was sick, she said, "MÃ¶chtest du eine DarmspÃ¼lung?"
Penny: What does that mean?
Sheldon: Based on what happened next, I assume it means, "Would you like an enema?"
- Permalink: Anyway, the housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak an...
Every family in America has a relative holed up in a garage somewhere huffing paint thinner
- Permalink: Every family in America has a relative holed up in a garage some...
Leonard: Penny, say hello to Leo.
Penny: Hi, Leo. How are you feeling?
"Leo": Have you ever woken up in a flea-bag motel, covered in your own vomit, next to a transsexual prostitute?
"Leo": Then don't ask me how I'm feeling.
- Permalink: Penny, say hello to Leo. Hi, Leo. How are you feeling? Have ...