The Big Bang Theory

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory

All right, Howard Wolowitz, listen up. You sign anything she puts in front of you, because you are the luckiest man alive. If you let her go, there is no way you can ever find someone else -- speaking on behalf of all women, it is not going to happen; we had a meeting.

Penny: So you're saying if I became a famous movie star, we got married, you wouldn't sign a pre-nup?
Leonard: Absolutely not! If I'm gonna be stuck at home with the kids while you're on location cheating on me with Ryan Gosling ... then Leonard gots to get paid.

You know I'm a big believer in breaking bad news to a guy when you're in bed with him. That's how I told my high school boyfriend I slept with his brother. That's how I told his brother the same thing.

Berndette: Oh, I don't know. I don't want to manipulate him with sex.
Penny: Oh, sweetie ... that's what sex is for.

Sheldon, that's not what girlfriends are for. Although, you don't use them for what they're for, so what do I know?

Howard: I got pretty exciting NASA news today. Next week I fly to Houston for orientation and zero-gravity elimination drills.
Penny: What does that mean?
Bernadette: He's gonna to learn to poop in space.
Howard: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
Raj: Maybe your nickname should be "Brown Dynamite."

Leonard: So, I've got a gunshot wound. That's pretty bad-ass.
Penny: No, you've got a Reebok with a gunshot wound and an ouchie on your pinky toe.

Penny: You mean like a beta test?
Leonard: Well, technically, this would be an alpha test. A beta test requires people that weren't involved in the development of the appli....
Penny: Seriously, do I not get credit for knowing beta test?
Leonard: No, absolutely you should.

Leonard: I missed you.
Penny: You see me all the time. You sure you don't just miss the sex?
Leonard: Well, yeah, the sex with you is pretty great. Have you ever tried it?
Penny: I have. You're not wrong.

Leonard: No, just you and me.
Penny: Have you thought this through?
Leonard: Yes, and I think we should go anyway.

Leonard: What are you afraid of?
Penny: Well, what if we do go out and I do something stupid and dump you again.
Leonard: What if I dump you?
Penny: [Scoffs] Come on, be serious.

Leonard: How does a miserable date end in sex?
Penny: I don't know, it's complicated.
Leonard: Well, I'm a pretty smart guy and right now my brain has dibs on the blood supply so give it a go.

Displaying quotes 157 - 168 of 345 in total

TBBT Quotes

Professor Proton is dead?

Sheldon

Leonard: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and chickens.
Sheldon: Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.

× Close Ad