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Sheldon: Get the Mad Hatter on the horn, I'm having a tea party.
Penny: You might want to pace yourself.
Sheldon: I drink tea all the time. I think I know what I'm doing.
Penny: Far be it from me to criticize a man with a full pubis.

Hey, this is my paper. And, my perspective is that slavery is bad. Oh, and my professor's black, so I'm pretty sure that's the right answer.

Amy: You have to be the weirdest couple I know.
Penny: Really? You can't think of anyone weirder?
Amy: I can, [whispers] but she's sitting right there.

Sometimes I forget how smart you are.

Penny: You're unbelievable.
Sheldon: I know.

Amy: Looks like something used by Tinker Bell's gynecologist.
Penny: Who I hope for her sake is not Captain Hook.

Penny: I'm just a blonde monkey to you, aren't I?
Sheldon: You said it, not me.

Penny: We're keeping things, you know, homeostasis.
Amy: It's so cute when she tries.

Sheldon: Penny? Please don't hurt my friend.
Penny: That is the last thing I want to do.
Sheldon: Thank you.

Amy: Soon my upper lip will be the same fake blonde as my beautiful best friend.
Penny: Hey, this is my natural hair color - Now.

Leonard: I'm sorry! I did, I crossed a line I didn't mean to.
Penny: Who says something like that right in the middle of sex?
Leonard: I don't know, it just came out! People say weird things during sex all the time.
Penny: Okay, well they sure as hell don't say that.
Leonard: It was heat of the moment.
Penny: No, the heat of the moment is "Oh yeah, just like that." Not "will you marry me?"
Leonard: I'm sorry, just-just give me another chance.
Penny: Why, so you can crawl under the covers and go, "Hey, baby, wanna go look for houses in neighborhoods with good schools?"

Howard: Tell her I'm really sorry. And if she doesn't want to marry me, I get it. But what I really want her to know is the guy that she is really disgusted by is the guy that I'm disgusted by, too. But, that guy doesn't exist anymore; he's gone. And the reason is because of her. So, if this relationship is over, let her know that she made me a better man, and tell her thank you.
Penny: Oh my god, Howard! That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. And it came out of you.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 337 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

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