Sex doesn't count.
Penny: Hey, how come you've never done anything romantic to celebrate our first date?
Leonard: Well, for starters, you've broken up with me so many times, which first date are we talking about?
Penny [to Sheldon]: Your food's ready.
Leonard: No, no, what are you doing? He's both happy and quiet. It's like seeing a unicorn and Bigfoot at the same time.
I'm not going to the mall with someone dressed like a dumb space bear.
That's right. My phone is just as smart as you guys.
Bernadette told me everything. Now you don't get the left or the right.
Leonard: They weren't boobies. They were muscles. And, the make-up was green, I was pretending to be the Hulk.
Penny: You were wearing her bra.
Leonard: That was to keep my muscles from sagging!
Penny: Not even the chapter on the breast feeding crisis?
Leonard: It was not a crisis. Apparently, I favored the left one, she got a little lopsided.
Penny: Oh, my God, you still go left!
Penny: Oh, come on. Why? How bad could it be?
Leonard: There-there's chapters about potty training, bed wetting and masturbation. Basically, if something came out of me, she wrote about it!
The Disappointing Child by Beverly Hofstadter.
Raj: I didn't want anyone to feel bad at the end of the game. Some of those puzzles were really hard. I didn't know who was going to get Penny.
Raj: That came out wrong. But you have to admit you had a wonderful time.
Penny: Run to India.
Sheldon: To the planetarium!
Penny: Let's go!
Leonard: To the Tar Pits!
Bernadette: Let's go!
Amy: There's a Neil Diamond concert next month.
Howard: Let's go!