Sheldon: After all these years. I'm really happy for the two of you.
Penny: Awww, thank you.
Sheldon: Now get out of my spot.

Sheldon: Amy's mad at me, and I'm not clear why.
Penny: Okay were you talking before you she got upset?
Sheldon: Yes.
Penny: That's probably it.

Hey, look at that! You both believe in Jewish bearded guys!

Penny: Think we'll have time to visit your mom while we're there?
Leonard: Yes. We'll also have time to put my junk in a garlic press, but I'm not doing that either.

Penny: [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon! [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon! [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon!
Sheldon: I bet that started off as a joke, but by the third one, you realized there was something strangely enjoyable about it.
Penny: Yeah, I kind of want to do it again.
Sheldon: I don't recommend it, you'll be doing it the rest of your life.

Penny: What?! A few thousand people listen to you talk about nerd stuff?
Wil Wheaton: Again, right in the ears, straight to the feelings.

Bernadette: Leonard makes you watch that [Game of Thrones] too?
Penny: No, no. I like that show. It's got dragons and people doing it.

Penny: I mean, who even reads Scientific American.
Leonard: It's kind of a big deal.
Penny: If it's such a big deal, how come the biggest celebrity they could get for the cover is a molecule?

Leonard: And we weren't even watching TV! We were watching Netflix like the kids do!
Penny: Yeah! Is it a comedy? Is it a drama? Nobody knows!

Penny: See, this is why I've been saying we should keep champagne on ice.
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: That was tricky because when it comes to alcohol she generally means business.

Leonard: I'm telling you, you can't create love in a few hours. Right?
Penny: Careful. You're poking at the whole foundation of The Bachelor.

Sheldon: When I lost my father, I didn't have any friends to help me through it. You do.
Penny: I really thought he was going to say, "Let it go."

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: I recently read that during World War Two, Joseph Stalin had a research program to create supersoldiers by having women impregnated by gorillas.
Howard: What a sick use of science.
Raj: Hey, as long as the baby's healthy.
Amy: I wonder if Stalin considered any other animals.
Leonard: Hippos are the deadliest creature. A half-human, half-hippo soldier would be pretty badass.
Howard: Yes, but when they're hungry-hungry, you can stop them with marbles.
Sheldon: Yeah, the correct animal for interspecies supersolider is koala. You would wind up with an army so cute it couldn't be attacked.

Raj: Well, to paraphrase Shakespeare: It's better to have loved and lost than to stay home every night and download increasingly shameful pornography.
Penny: Oh... you poor baby.
Raj: What's wrong with me, Penny?
Penny: Nothing, nothing. You know, if we weren't friends - and you hadn't brought up that creepy pornography story - I'd be on you like the speed of light squared on matter to make energy.
Raj: Hey, you totally got that right. E = MC squared.
Penny: I listen. I have no idea what it means, but I listen.