Leonard: I'm not going to make a fake appointment with a psychiatrist. What would I say is wrong with me?
Koothrappali: Low self esteem.
Howard: Social anxiety.
Sheldon: Sexual insecurity.
Leonard: None of that is true.
Penny: Denial. See sweetie, the list goes on and on.

Howard: Like when you were going to make that pie, Stuart ate all the blueberries...
Bernadette: He tried to deny it but his teeth were all purple.
Howard: That was pretty cute.
Bernadette: Yeah.
Bernadette: Ew, we are missing him!

Penny: Do you have any questions?
Gallo: Just one. When you made your husband pretend to be a patient so you could get access to me, what were you thinking there?

Gallo: Here is a man raised by an overbearing woman who completely dominated every aspect of his formative years. Do you think he's perpetuating that relationship by seeking out a partner like you?
Penny: You know, I used to wear tank tops a lot. That was a big selling point.

Penny: How can I not sound like his mother when our entire bedroom is filled with Star Wars toys? I mean have you ever had sex with a stuffed Wookie watching you?
Gallo: I went to college in the 70's. It was a hairier time. I'm going to say yes.

Sheldon: After all these years. I'm really happy for the two of you.
Penny: Awww, thank you.
Sheldon: Now get out of my spot.

Sheldon: Amy's mad at me, and I'm not clear why.
Penny: Okay were you talking before you she got upset?
Sheldon: Yes.
Penny: That's probably it.

Hey, look at that! You both believe in Jewish bearded guys!

Penny: Think we'll have time to visit your mom while we're there?
Leonard: Yes. We'll also have time to put my junk in a garlic press, but I'm not doing that either.

Penny: [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon! [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon! [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon!
Sheldon: I bet that started off as a joke, but by the third one, you realized there was something strangely enjoyable about it.
Penny: Yeah, I kind of want to do it again.
Sheldon: I don't recommend it, you'll be doing it the rest of your life.

Penny: What?! A few thousand people listen to you talk about nerd stuff?
Wil Wheaton: Again, right in the ears, straight to the feelings.

Bernadette: Leonard makes you watch that [Game of Thrones] too?
Penny: No, no. I like that show. It's got dragons and people doing it.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?