Milhouse: If it's the blue hair and the schnoz you're digging, I've got plenty more cousins.
Bart: Thanks Milhouse, I think I'm gonna steer clear of Van Houtens for awhile.
Milhouse: More for me, marrying a cousin worked out great for my parents.

Milhouse: Fie?
Bart: Yeah, look it up.
Milhouse: Used to express disgust or outrage? That's the worst F word there is!

Bart: You did it Homer, you saved me from the bullies, you're the coolest kid I've ever met.
Milhouse: What about me?
Bart: You're in the top hundred.
Milhouse: Booyah!
Bart: Now you're not.

A fat kid with a dream. I can't compete with that.

I never would have suspected the one criminal in town.

Did you ever wonder if hippopotamuses think that rhinos are unicorns?

Milhouse: I can't wait to use your moves on Lisa.
Lisa: Eww. On every level, eww.

Lisa: I hope you're happy. You all just wasted your time working your way into an after school class.
Bart, Milhouse, Nelson, and Ralph: Aahhh!

Milhouse: My heart makes up for my shortcomings, like Rudy!
Robot: Rudy was only put in at the end of a meaningless game. We will notify you if this game becomes meaningless.

Every vandalism spree needs an obnoxious laugher.

Milhouse: I need that [cootie] shot, my dog and I accidentally touched tongues.
Bart: How is this accidentally when it's the fifth time?

Bart: Those are girl overalls!
Milhouse: I could pull it off.

The Simpsons Quotes

(During the opening credits, Mr. Burns acts as the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt.)
Mr. Burns: Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the crypt-keeper, or should I say master of scary-i-monies? (Laughs)
(Smithers interrupts Mr. Burn's opening speech.)
Smithers: (Laughs) Priceless sir, you made the word ceremonies frightening.
Mr. Burns: I know what I did. Urghh.

Mr. Burns: (reading Homer's letter) "Dear Mr. Burns. I'm so glad you enjoyed my son's blood, and your card was just great." Why Simpson, you've made my day, you're a true gentlemen.
Homer: Well I-
Mr. Burns: Hello, there's more. (continues reading) "In case you can't tell, I'm being sarcastic. You stink! You are a senile bucktoothed old mummy with bony girl arms and you smell like an elephant's butt!"