Jan: Don't panic.
Michael: Uh, This is excellent. Although alarm bells are kind of going "Ringy Dingy Dingy!"

Jan: All right, was there anything you wanted to add to the agenda?
Michael: Ummmm... Me no get an agenda.
Jan: I'm sorry - wait, I'm sorry?

Corporate really doesn't interfere with me at all. Um, Jan Levinson-Gould. I call her Hillary Rodham Clinton, right? Not to her face, because, uh...well not because I'm scared of her. Because I'm not. But, um, yeah.

Pam, this is from corporate. How many times have I told you that there is a special filing cabinet for things from corporate? Called the waste paper basket!

Michael: Ah, This is our receptionist, Pam. PAM! PAM PAM! Pam Beesly. Uh, Pam has been with us, um, for forever... Right, Pam?
Pam: Well, I don't know...
Michael: If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple of years ago! [growls]
Pam: What?
Michael: Uh, any messages?

[on the phone] All right, done deal! Thank you very much sir! You are a gentleman and a scholar! [pause] Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry. My mistake. [hangs up] That was a woman I was talking to... so, she had a very low voice. Probably a smoker. So that's the way it's done!

The Office Quotes

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.


Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.