...because I had a great summer. I got Wes Nile Virus. Lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. Stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw Inception, or at least I dreamt I did.

There are only like 12 minutes that I felt was worth taping. And most of that was just birds in my condo complex. And I miss Holly.

That teacher who was wrongfully accused of being a pedophile. We cannot led the pedophile win!

Michael: I know these people. I know when their birthdays are. I know what their favorite kind of cake is. I know what color balloons they like.
Jo: All that's just birthday information, Michael.

I have an early dinner. With the chief of police.

That's not the first time I stole something away from Coach Shane.

I had a choice. Either living with myself, or being happy.

The stuff we're into isn't condo-appropriate.

Pam: Are you still seeing Donna?
Michael: Since when is this an office where we delve into each other's personal lives?!

I'm the mistress?

Michael: Hi! Sorry, to interrupt, a little time sensitive. [to Donna] Do you, Donna, by any chance happen to shop at Victoria Secret?
Jim Halpert: What?
Michael: Because I keep getting these magazines sent to me via the address of the woman who used to live in my condo before me?
Jim: None of this is time sensitive.
Michael: Uh, yes. Uh, the sale is on now through May.

It's subtle. This is how it works. I show her an image that turns her on. And, then she looks at me and then she looks at the image then back at me then back at the image, soon she doesn't know what is me what is the image, she just knows that she is turned on.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 1014 in total

Want more The Office?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!

The Office Quotes

Michael: Did I ever tell you about the day that Steve Martin died?
Pam: Steve Martin's not dead, Michael.
Michael: I know. But I always thought that the day that he died would be the worst day of my life. I was wrong. It's this.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael
x Close Ad