Erin: What if we all get together and help each other and hire a new guy, and then we all kill him, but first we take out like a hundred thousand dollar life insurance policy? I bet you guys like that idea, don't you?...I think that's what they're doing to me. I can't prove it but I wanted to see their faces when I said it. I learned nothing.
Michael: I don't know what the f*ck that w

Oscar is my Queen. That's easy, give me a hard one - that's what Oscar said.

Toby is the instruction card you throw away.

Moving backwards, our IT guys have been Glasses, Turban, Ear Hair, Fatty 3, Shorts, Fatty 2, Lozenge, and Fatso.

If you break that girl's heart I will kill you. That's just a figure of speech. But seriously, if you break that girl's heart I will literally kill you and your entire family.

Gabe: Michael, you are making this harder than it has to be.
Michael: That's what she said.

Pam I have a loaded gun in my desk at work, and if I ever start acting like that weeny Gabe, I want you to take that gun and I want you to shoot me like a hundred times in the groin, until I'm dead. Okay?

You know how these things go...construction projects, they say three months and then after two years the lazy bums haven't even started. Now we're those lazy bums.

I don't even know how to say this, but Cece is turning out to be a little b-*-t-c-h.

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