Meg: Trust me, I know more about getting bullied than anyone.
Peter: You do? How?

Karen Griffin: I'm just joshing, kid. Auntie's not a biscuit bumper.
Meg: I'm not either.

Home-Ec just got out, and I'm gonna go lick all their bowls.

Random Party-Goer: You want to go upstairs?
Meg: Sure!
Random Party-Goer: Good. Go.

  • Permalink: Good. Go.
  • Added:

I've never even been in a picture before.

It's a living!

"My dad gave me a gun to hide."

"No one ever told me I mattered before."

"I cut your name into my arm so I can always remember you."

Meg: Dad, sometimes I wonder why you even had a family.
Peter: I don't know...I was dating your mother, I don't like the way condoms feel, next thing you know, I got a mortgage, a kid, and a crappy job at a toy factory.

Meg: In the last election, you voted for Mighty Mouse.
Peter: Time to put the might mouse in the White House.

Peter: I am going to the Clam and I am getting my booth back! And Meg, you're gay.
Meg: No, I'm not.
Peter: You like guys, right?
Meg: Yeah.
Peter: That's called being gay.

Family Guy Quotes

Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife has been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?

Wilford Brimley

[disappointedly] You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes ya feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah. You're right. I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changin'. I like me. My kids like me. My friends like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.

Peter