Marge: The biggest change for me over the last 8 years that's gotta be Homer.
Homer: Marge, baby, I got a picture of you tattooed on my chest!
(he opens his shirt to reveal a skull with Marge's hairdo)
Homer: They had a sale on skulls.

Marge: Bart, you're too young to get married! You still ask me to check the closet for the boogeyman!
Bart: Well, maybe I've found somebody else to do it for me!

Marge: Revenge never solves anything!
Homer: (sarcastically) Then what's America doing in Iraq?

Snake: Hand over your wallet.
Homer: You don't frighten me!
(Snake shoots Homer)
Homer: Or my wife!
(Snake shoots Marge)
Homer: Or my--
Marge: Shut up!

Marge: Homer!
Lisa: Bart!
INS Man: Portuguese Fausto!
Fausto: Ay! Yi! Yi!

Marge: (About the Merry Go Round) Can I go again?
Homer: All night, baby.
(Bart and Lisa groan.)

Marge: This is so exciting! Watching a movie outside with the whole town.
Comic Book Guy: Yes, thank you for talking to one of us like we just tuned in! (his lawn chair collapses) Ooh, a fat man falls! Real original!

Marge: Oh God! Someone carved swastikas on your eyes.
Homer: Oh Marge, I'm sure it was just some guy filled with hate.

Marge: Homer, that's too much sugar.
Homer: It's not sugar, it's carmel!

I'm so sick of Gil, he ruins my Thanksgiving, uses my leg razor to peel his carrots

Gil: Aw, come on, you can't say no to Gil.
Marge: (Loudly) NO!!!!

Homer: Why did you let that loser into our home?
Marge: I'll tell you why--Christian charity.
Homer: Christian Charity? What does a porn star have to do with this?

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.