Marge Simpson Quotes
(Marge discovers that Milhouse is a girl)
Marge: Why, Milhouse. Don't you look lovely.
Milhouse: (Angrily) It's a spell! (Sweetly) And thank you.
- Permalink: Why, Milhouse. Don't you look lovely. It's a spell! And than...
(After Bart brought Marge's character back to life)
Marge: Wait till I tell the other moms you gave two-thirds of your life force to save me. What a good boy.
(An angry mob busts in)
Moe: He's weak!
Comic Book Guy: Slay him and take his experience points!
Bart: Wait, stop. If you kill me, I'll egg your houses in real life!
Mrs. Krabapel: It's still worth it!
(She stabs Bart in the eye)
- Permalink: Wait till I tell the other moms you gave two-thirds of your life...
My son is an evil knight. (Pauses) The most successful evil knight in all of Earthland Realm. Not bad.</i> Marge
- Permalink: My son is an evil knight. The most successful evil knight in al...
Bart: Mom, I'm going to give you life the way I imagined you gave me life--by pressing Alt-F5 repeatedly! (His game character places a zapping gaze into her eyes as she's brought back to life, then he groans and drops to the floor)
Marge: Bart, you brought me back to life (Sees her character now exhibits the lower part of a pig) as best you could.
Nelson: HA-HAAH!!! (His character is a human head with pigeon wings who flies overhead, makes fun of her, then bumps into a wall and drops into a torch, getting incinerated in the process.)
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(About the album) It was like a resume to a man.
- Permalink: It was like a resume to a man.
(Marge reads The Inquisitor at the Quik-E-Mart)
Marge: Sideshow Mel is in a custody battle? And it's getting bitter?
Apu: Read one more thing, and it's a purchase!
Marge: "Experts disagree on location of Heaven"?
- Permalink: Sideshow Mel is in a custody battle? And it's getting bitter? ...
Marge: This disaster-ette was a real wake-up call. We need to find a way to protect our irreplaceables.
Firefighter: You could buy a fireproof safe.
Homer: Or we could just resolve to be more careful with our open flames!
Firefighter: Sir, we've been here six times this month.
Homer: Yeah, but, um, one of those, I dialed 911 by mistake but I was too embarrassed to admit it so I set the house on fire. Feels good to tell the truth. No, I'm lying again, it feels bad.
- Permalink: This disaster-ette was a real wake-up call. We need to find a wa...
(After the family puts their special items in the safe, smoke begins coming out.)
Bart: What's that comin' out of the safe?
Homer: I don't know--Maybe the Krusty doll accidentally turned on the car's headlights, which focused on the cologne bottle, causing it to boil and soon explode.
Lisa: Dad, that's ridiculous!
(The safe blows apart from the explosion.)
Krusty Doll: What's the deal with this California pizza? If I wanted cheese and fruit--(As it burns from the flames and begins melting)--I'd...have...to...(Melts into a plastic puddle)
Marge: (Devastated when the family album falls apart into ashes) Nooooooo! It's gone! That family album was a record of my accomplishments! It's like what a resume is for a man.
Lisa: I agree, Mom. It's very sad. But we'll have to move on. It's not like we can restage all our family photos.
Marge: (Becoming delighted upon the idea) Restage the photos!
Bart: Lisa you fool, you've doomed us all!
(Marge quickly puts a baby bonnet on him and snaps a shot with her camera as he cries out before she takes a second shot, which is among the first ones seen in the new family album.)
- Permalink: What's that comin' out of the safe? I don't know--Maybe the Kr...
Marge: Grampa's driving me crazy!
Homer: Why are you telling me? He's YOUR father-in-law.
- Permalink: Grampa's driving me crazy! Why are you telling me? He's YOUR f...
Homer: (as Esteban) So, how long is senor Homer out of town for?
Marge: Ooh, I don't know, he might come home any minute
Homer: Then I must flee! (jumps out the window and re-enters the room as himself) Where is he? Where is he? I smell his aftershave!
Marge: I don't think we're doing this right.
- Permalink: So, how long is senor Homer out of town for? Ooh, I don't know...
Marge: Bart, honey, this is all we can afford for now. If it doesn't work, maybe when you're an adult you can pay some lady to make you happy for an hour.
Bart: Ya know, I'm pretty sure I will.
- Permalink: Bart, honey, this is all we can afford for now. If it doesn't wo...
Marge: Homie, you woke up early?
Homer: Stumbled home at dawn, same diff.
- Permalink: Homie, you woke up early? Stumbled home at dawn, same diff.
Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
- Permalink: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles tri...
- Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.Bart
- Permalink: Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.
- Rating: Unrated