Marge Simpson Quotes
(Marge reads a newspaper headline about Mary Bailey calling for an investigation at the nuclear power plant.)
Marge: Well, leave it to good ol' Mary Bailey to finally step in and do something about that hideous genetic mutation.
Homer: (Scoffs) Mary Bailey. Well, If I was governor, I'd sure find better things to do with my time.
Marge: Like what?
Homer: Like getting Washington's birthday and Lincoln's birthday back to separate paid holidays. President's Day. (Blows raspberry.) What a rip-off. I bust my butt day in and day out--
Marge: You're late for work, Homer.
Homer: So? Somebody'll punch in for me.
- Permalink: <i>(Marge reads a newspaper headline about Mary Bailey calling f...
(After realizing he is going to lose the election, Mr. Burns starts smashing things in the Simpson home)
Mr. Burns: Smithers, tip over this table for me!
Smithers: Yes, sir.
(Smithers grunts as he turns over the table.)
Marge: Homer. Homer. Make them stop.
Homer: (Clears throat) Uh, Mr. Burns. Um, Mr. Burns?
Mr. Burns: Shut up and wreck something!
(Homer picks up a flower vase and drops it.)
Lisa: Mr. Burns, I hardly see what destroying our meager possessions is going to accomplish.
Mr. Burns: She's right. Take me home, Smithers. We'll destroy something tasteful.
- Permalink: <i>(After realizing he is going to lose the election, Mr. Burns ...
(Serak the Preparer provides the Simpson family with a bounty of food.)
Marge: Well, thank you very much, Mr.--
Serak the Preparer: To pronounce it correctly, I would have to pull out your tongue.
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(In the evil house, Marge catches the rest of the family trying to kill each other with knives.)
Marge: That does it. Children, get dressed. We're leaving.
Homer: Come on, Marge. You said you'd sleep on it.
Marge: I don't care what I said. This family has had its differences and we've squabbled, but we've never had knife fights before, and I blame this house.
- Permalink: (<i>In the evil house, Marge catches the rest of the family tryi...
I'm not going to live in a house of evil just to save a few dollars!
- Permalink: I'm not going to live in a house of evil just to save a few doll...
Evil Spirit: Get out.
Marge: What on earth was that?
Homer: Probably just the house settling.
- Permalink: Get out. What on earth was that? Probably just the house set...
(Kang and Kodos show off the amenities on their spaceship.)
Kang: And over here is our crowning achievement in amusement technology: an electronic version of what you call table tennis.
(Kang shows off a video screen that features the vintage video game Pong.)
Kang: Your primitive paddles have been replaced by an electronic--
Bart: Hey, that's just Pong. Get with the times, man.
Homer: Marge and I played that old game before we were married.
Kang: Well, we did build this spaceship, you know.
Kodos: Anyone from a species that has mastered intergalactic travel, raise your hand.
(Kang and Kodos each raise a tentacle. Bart raises his hand, but Homer slaps it down.)
Kodos: All right, then.
Marge: Sorry. Your game is very nice.
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(Homer convinces the family to stay in the "Bad Dream House.")
Homer: Now, wait a minute, Marge. It's only natural there'd be some things wrong with an old house like this. It's a fixer-upper. What's the problem? We get a bunch of priests in here--
Marge: I'm not going to live in a house of evil just to save a few dollars.
Homer: Don't be so stubborn! We're not talking about a few dollars.
(Homer slowly begins floating to the ceiling.)
Homer: We're talking about a few thousand dollars!
(Homer realizes that he is floating upwards and begins screaming.)
Homer: It's got great high ceilings!
(Homer screams as he suddenly plunges back to the floor.)
Homer: Tell you what. Let's, uh, sleep on it, okay?
- Permalink: <i>(Homer convinces the family to stay in the Bad Dream House.)<...
(Homer barbeques on the back patio.)
Marge: (Groans) Homer, all these flies.
Homer: Not to worry. I'll just turn on the trusty bug zapper.
(The sound of a few bugs being zapped is then followed by a large zapping noise.)
Homer: Ooh, that was a big mama! (Chuckles)
- Permalink: <i>(Homer barbeques on the back patio.)</i> <i>(Groans)</i> Ho...