Marge Simpson Quotes
(Before the baseball game at Springfield Stadium, the Simpson family watches the players warm-up.)
Bart: Oh, wow! There's Flash Baylor! I gotta get his autograph! He used to be a star!
(Bart makes his way to the outfield fence.)
Bart: Hey, Flash, will you sign my ball?
Flash Baylor: (Flatly) No.
(A disappointed Bart returns back to his seat.)
Bart: (Muttering) Lousy, washed-up, broken down tub of guts. Who does he think he is, anyway?
Homer: What's the matter, boy?
Bart: He wouldn't sign my ball.
Marge: (Upset) Well, he's a fine role model. Bart, give me that ball!
(Marge makes her way to the outfield fence.)
Outfielder: Hey, Flash, check out the mature quail headin' this way.
Flash Baylor: Well, hey there, little lady. What can Flash do for ya?
(Cut to Marge returning back to her seat and handing Bart's ball back to him.)
Marge: Here you go, Bart.
Bart: Hmm. (Reading baseball) "Springfield Kozy Kort Motel, room 26. How 'bout it? Flash."
Homer: Wow! Flash Baylor came onto my wife! You've still got the magic, Marge.
- Permalink: <i>(Before the baseball game at Springfield Stadium, the Simpson...
(The Simpson family make their way to their seats at Springfield Stadium.)
Lisa: I can't think of a better place to spend a balmy summer's night than the old ball yard. There's just the green grass of the outfield, the crushed brick of the infield, and the white chalk lines that divide the man from the little boy.
Homer: (Chuckles) Lisa, honey. You're forgetting the beer. It comes in 72-ounce tubs here.
Marge: I hope you'll space out the tubs this year, Homer.
Homer: What are you getting at?
Marge: Well, last year you got a little rambunctious and mooned the poor umpire.
Homer: Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right--no, the duty--to make a complete ass of myself.
- Permalink: <i>(The Simpson family make their way to their seats at Springfi...
A Simpson on a t-shirt. I never thought I'd see the day.Marge
- Permalink: (<i>Marge notices the Dancin' Homer t-shirts being sold at the b...
Homer: D'oh, Marge, sitting next to the boss! The best night of the year and it's ruined!
Marge: All this means is you can't wave your fanny around in public.
Homer: Oh, yeah, rub it in!
- Permalink: D'oh, Marge, sitting next to the boss! The best night of the yea...
(In bed, Homer worries about what Mr. Burns said about making sure his dreams will go unfulfilled.)
Homer: Oh, my dreams will go unfulfilled? Oh, no. I don't like the sound of that one bit. That means I have nothing to hope for. Marge, make it better, please. Can't you make it better, huh?
Marge: Homer, when a man's biggest dreams include seconds on dessert, occasional snuggling and sleeping till noon on weekends, no one man can destroy them.
Homer: Hey, you did it!
- Permalink: <i>(In bed, Homer worries about what Mr. Burns said about making...
(Homer comments on the newspaper headline about Mr. Burns running for Governor.)
Homer: Well, he's got my vote.
Marge: Homer, we're a Mary Bailey family.
Homer: Mary Bailey isn't going to fire me if I don't vote for her. I'm for Monty Burns!
Lisa: Ooh, a political discussion at our table! I feel like a Kennedy.
- Permalink: <i>(Homer comments on the newspaper headline about Mr. Burns run...
(Marge reads a newspaper headline about Mary Bailey calling for an investigation at the nuclear power plant.)
Marge: Well, leave it to good ol' Mary Bailey to finally step in and do something about that hideous genetic mutation.
Homer: (Scoffs) Mary Bailey. Well, If I was governor, I'd sure find better things to do with my time.
Marge: Like what?
Homer: Like getting Washington's birthday and Lincoln's birthday back to separate paid holidays. President's Day. (Blows raspberry.) What a rip-off. I bust my butt day in and day out--
Marge: You're late for work, Homer.
Homer: So? Somebody'll punch in for me.
- Permalink: <i>(Marge reads a newspaper headline about Mary Bailey calling f...
(After realizing he is going to lose the election, Mr. Burns starts smashing things in the Simpson home)
Mr. Burns: Smithers, tip over this table for me!
Smithers: Yes, sir.
(Smithers grunts as he turns over the table.)
Marge: Homer. Homer. Make them stop.
Homer: (Clears throat) Uh, Mr. Burns. Um, Mr. Burns?
Mr. Burns: Shut up and wreck something!
(Homer picks up a flower vase and drops it.)
Lisa: Mr. Burns, I hardly see what destroying our meager possessions is going to accomplish.
Mr. Burns: She's right. Take me home, Smithers. We'll destroy something tasteful.
- Permalink: <i>(After realizing he is going to lose the election, Mr. Burns ...
(Serak the Preparer provides the Simpson family with a bounty of food.)
Marge: Well, thank you very much, Mr.--
Serak the Preparer: To pronounce it correctly, I would have to pull out your tongue.
- Permalink: <i>(Serak the Preparer provides the Simpson family with a bounty...