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The-simpsons

Marge: I take your sugary sweets and give you healthy items...
Bart: This is exactly why kids need a union.

Edna: We have shirts from other high schools.
Marge: Ooh, we can wear those to the nice malls.

I do have a place you can go, where a man with sadistic man with government experience can feel right at home.

Wayne: Homer is implanted with several high powerful traffic devices.
Marge: How did that happen?
Wayne: I left them in a bowl and he ate them.

Wayne: Your town appears on no maps or charts.
Homer: Yeah, they couldn't find a Google map photo without me naked or urinating.
Marge: And when there was a map makers convention here, we all got Lou Gerig's disease.
Homer: Not the one you're thinking of though, there's another one.

What brought you to Springfield, was it our Frito Lay distribution center?

Homer: My doctor said don't walk.
Marge: That was a traffic signal!

You can never raise a hand to a child. Just stop cutting the crust off their sandwiches. They'll get the message.

Marge: Homey, you sure know how to please a woman.
Homer: As long as it doesn't involve losing weight or changing my pants.

Newsweek magazine did say it's good to change careers... right after they laid off all their editors.

Marge: In a good marriage you never say, "I told you so."
Homer: Which is good for me because you're always right.

Tushy: every light in the house is a tanning light.
Marge: can you read by it?
Tushy: no one's ever tried.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 560 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

I'm married to the sea, and I'm seeing two of the great lakes on the side. I won't say which ones but it's ERIE how SUPERIOR they are.

Sea Captain
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