The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Marge: What if we roll pennies and go to the dollar store?
Homer: That's good, Marge. Get all the terrible ideas out of your system.

Marge: How come they never call me fun mom?
Homer: A family's like a team. On every team you have the slam dunking mega star and the referee.

Marge: I take your sugary sweets and give you healthy items...
Bart: This is exactly why kids need a union.

Edna: We have shirts from other high schools.
Marge: Ooh, we can wear those to the nice malls.

I do have a place you can go, where a man with sadistic man with government experience can feel right at home.

Wayne: Homer is implanted with several high powerful traffic devices.
Marge: How did that happen?
Wayne: I left them in a bowl and he ate them.

Wayne: Your town appears on no maps or charts.
Homer: Yeah, they couldn't find a Google map photo without me naked or urinating.
Marge: And when there was a map makers convention here, we all got Lou Gerig's disease.
Homer: Not the one you're thinking of though, there's another one.

What brought you to Springfield, was it our Frito Lay distribution center?

Homer: My doctor said don't walk.
Marge: That was a traffic signal!

You can never raise a hand to a child. Just stop cutting the crust off their sandwiches. They'll get the message.

Marge: Homey, you sure know how to please a woman.
Homer: As long as it doesn't involve losing weight or changing my pants.

Newsweek magazine did say it's good to change careers... right after they laid off all their editors.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 562 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

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