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Marge: I feel kind of melancholy.
Homer: Hmm...melon-collie.

He's like a husband in a widow's memory, perfect.

Accidental motherhood is the best thing that can happen to a woman.

Homer: Listen, we swore we'd never go to sleep angry at each other.
Marge: I'm not going to sleep.
Homer: Well you didn't have two beers with your lunch.

The most romantic part of this was the hold music when I made the reservation.

Waiter: I hope you are enjoying your sushi.
Marge: It's as yummy as your poorly produced local commercial says.

Marge: I think I hear a slight accent.
Woman: Mid-Atlantic.
Marge: *gasp* That's where they filmed The Wire! Step on it!

Homer: Marge, this is it. TEOTWAWKI.
Marge: The end of the world as we know it?!?

Bart: He's alive!
Marge: And he didn't pee on the floor.
Grampa: For me that's a perfect day.

The kids are a mess. You brought them home exhausted and pretentious.

Marge: You're all bald.
Homer: No, I'm young person cool-bald. Not old person sad-bald.

I don't care for silent auctions. It just encourages hovering.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 560 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

I'm married to the sea, and I'm seeing two of the great lakes on the side. I won't say which ones but it's ERIE how SUPERIOR they are.

Sea Captain
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