Luke: How come you never wrote a poem for me?
Manny: Don't you get it? They were all for you.

Don't be silly, Janet. If I were interested in more youthful things, would I be here with you?

Luke: Thank you, Alexandra. It's not easy being the smart ones in this family.
Alex: Don't compare us! Your last English paper came back with a Garfield sticker on it that said, "Way to Go!"

Drive til you hear a party.

We can't have people golfing sober. They'll realize it's a waste of time.

Luke: Why does Alex get a care package and not me?
Claire: You live in a care package.

Phil: Well good morning Leonard.
Luke: Leonard?
Phil: I know it's not the well-behaved son Luke who'd never take our car out without a license and get arrested.

Phil: Then today it's, "everything I can do you can do better."
Luke: No, I can't.
Phil: Yes, you can.

Luke: What are you constantly looking at on your computer?
Alex: Is that a question you really want people asking around here?

Manny: Hey, that's my bike!
Luke: We're all making sacrifices. I'm wearing a monokini.

Manny: And just like that, it disappears.
Luke: In his defense, the water is really cold.

Haley got married? She is in so much trouble!

Modern Family Quotes

That's why we chose our secret warrior signal. My first suggestion was to blow a Viking horn. Don't google that, by the way.

Phil

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay