Lois Griffin Quotes
I'm from Alderaan. It's kind of the Mississippi of the galaxy.
Well, can we at least do some Muppet-style sight-seeing first?
Lois: Not a lot of people of color here but the ones that are black are really black.
Bonnie: I noticed that.
Chris: Aunt Carol, Mom says you'd make a great Florida whore, what does that mean?
Lois: Oh haha haha, Chris, I said that about Kate Hudson!
Stewie: You know, I always thought I'd make a great Florida whore.
Meg: Mom, she's so sad and lonely.
Lois: Look who the bleep is talking!
Brian: Good morning everyone!
Lois: Ah crap, he's in love again.
Lois: Oh my god! I think Chris is having a heart attack!
Peter: We're not supposed to leave the table!
Lois: Chris, have you been drinking?
Chris: Yes, have you been aging?
No, no, Peter, you're still you; you're just a teenager, you're not switching genders.
I'm pretty sure our washer machine is pregnant! I'm not even sure how that's scientifically possible!
Tina Fey: I'm better than Jesus!
Lois: Yes, Tina Fey, you're better than Jesus.
Who did Jesus hang around? Mary Magdalene. Who was she? A
prostitute. Which means if they had cameras back then, I bet she
would've done a porno.