Bonnie: "This food is so f*cking good Lois."
Lois: "Oh ok...wow."

"Well, laundrium insertum!"

Lois:Oh my god, not that guy. Isn't he the one that beats her?
Peter: Yea, but she's gotten a LOT better.

Lois: Is it a blood diamond?
Peter: Only the bloodiest.

Peter: Hey, check it out! It's another chick! The only other chick in the galaxy!
Lois: I don't like her.

Peter: Who braided your hair? Did the Ewoks braid your hair? So they use spears with wooden tips but understand the finer points of cosmetology?
Lois: I know...it's not as good as Empire.

I'm from Alderaan. It's kind of the Mississippi of the galaxy.

Well, can we at least do some Muppet-style sight-seeing first?

Lois: Not a lot of people of color here but the ones that are black are really black.
Bonnie: I noticed that.

Chris: Aunt Carol, Mom says you'd make a great Florida whore, what does that mean?
Lois: Oh haha haha, Chris, I said that about Kate Hudson!
Stewie: You know, I always thought I'd make a great Florida whore.

Meg: Mom, she's so sad and lonely.
Lois: Look who the bleep is talking!

Brian: Good morning everyone!
Lois: Ah crap, he's in love again.

Family Guy Quotes

Young Michael Jackson: The kid in me likes the frosted side.
Adult Michael Jackson: But the grown-up in me likes the kid in me.

Peter: I'm making my own Red Bull! Lois can't stop me from experiencing the manic highs and lows my body demands.
Brian: Whoa, whoa you're adding kerosene? That's insane! That'll destroy your body, Peter!
Peter: Kerosene is fuel, Brian. Red Bull is fuel. Kerosene is Red Bull...
Brian: That drink will kill you, Peter.
Peter: Whatever kills me will make me stronger.