You can't just around in black face. It's racist. Now go upstairs and put on that Indian chief costume I bought you.

Oh my God. You're 40!?

Princess Leia/Lois: There's something out there!
Han Solo/Peter: Where?
Princess Leia/Lois: Out there in the cave!
Han Solo/Peter: Ha! Crazy women always hearing thngs.
Chewbacca/Brian: There's something out there!
Han Solo/Peter: Let's go check it out.

Han/Peter: Hey guys.
Leia/Lois: Han! What are you still doing here?
Han/Peter: Well I just realized my spaceship works better when I HAVE THE KEYS! Duh!

Leia/Lois: We're gonna be pulverized!
Han/Peter: Look, we got four or five of the main characters on board this ship, so I think we're okay.

Leia/Lois: May I have everyone's attention please? We're evacuating into outer space with literally infinite directions in which to flee. However, we have decided that our transports will travel directly towards the fleet of stormtroopers. Any questions?
Rebel: Yeah, um, is there someone from the military we can talk to, a man perhaps?

Han/Peter: Well your manage-to-keep-me-around-a-little-longer ness, it looks like you've managed to keep me around a little longer.
Leia/Lois: I assure you, I had nothing to do with it.
Han/Peter: Yeah right. I think you just can't stand to let a fat guy like me out of your sights.
Leia/Lois: [agitated] Why you stuck up, half witted, scruffy lookin' nerf herder!
Han/Peter: You can't use that word! Only we can use that word!

Peter: Here's the deal: anything he lops off we get to bring home to Brian.
Lois: That's very green of you, Peter.

Lois: How do you know he's gay?
Peter: A lot of little things: the way he talks, his mannerisms, and he has the complete DVD set of Sex and the City between his butt cheeks.
Lois: Peter, no he didn't.
Peter: He had the DVD set. I was just being colorful with the rest of it.

Chris: Anything I could do to make your life easier.
Lois: Well you could always grab the vacuum and clean the living room floor.
Chris: Sure, I'll take care of that. Are you running off to your job?

Brian, your script... it was enchanting. This brian griffin? I've never met this Brian Griffin. I would have told you last night, but I was 100% sure you ripped it off. After spending the last 18 hours on the Internet and in libraries trying to find traces of it somewhere, I couldn't find a thing.

I bet you taste like Mountain Dew and Starburst.

Family Guy Quotes

Bill Clinton: All right, are you ready for another round of N.A.F.T.A
Lois Griffin: What does N.A.F.T.A. mean?
Bill Clinton: 'Nother Afternoon of F****** That Ass!

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)