Lois Griffin Quotes
Lois: Peter, we gotta go talk to Donna.
Peter: Alright, but you need to cool down first, Lois. Find a way to channel your anger. What I do is throw a shot put into a crowd and make it look like an accident.
Peter: I'm having an affair.
Lois: That's ridiculous.
Peter: It's not ridiculous, it's Cybill Shepherd. She's attainable for a guy like me now.
Donna: Oh Lois, I'm so glad to see Peter and Cleveland back together again.
Lois: Yeah, me too. Now Peter will have something to do besides flushing the toilet to Foghat's "Slow Ride."
Peter: Let me help you! I'm great at finding stuff. Last night, I found Lois's g-spot!
Lois: No, he didn't!
Peter: I didn't think she was home.
- Permalink: I didn't think she was home.
Peter: I had an affair and I think we should talk about it.
Lois: Peter, jamming yourself into a grapefruit is not an affair.
- Permalink: Peter, jamming yourself into a grapefruit is not an affair.
Peter: Fresh air is bad for a kid. Look at Michael J. Fox.
Peter: I don't know.
- Permalink: Fresh air is bad for a kid.
This shouldn't embarrass you, the size should embarrass you.
- Permalink: This shouldn't embarrass you, the size should embarrass you.
Lois: Last night was the best sex I ever had.
Peter: Me too. We haven't done it like that since we were engaged, but allowed to sleep with other people.
Lois: What are you talking about?
- Permalink: What are you talking about?
Lois: Oh, look who's back; the grave robber.
Peter: Hey, Lois.
Lois: So, what happened? You find your treasure?
Peter: No, I realised something after you left; It's not the treasure that matters. All that really matters is the money you get in exchange for the treasure. I guess I had to learn that the hard way.