Lois Griffin Quotes
Lois: Wow, Doctor Hartman, that's really short. I suppose it's fine if he's going to die at 14. Is there anything there about that?
Dr. Hartman: Well, we learned in medical school that the short ones do go faster, because they smell more farts than the rest of us.
Peter: Well, I am off to try and get out of this conversation!
Lois: Peter, what did you do?
Peter: He was slightly inconveniencing me and Joe, so we threatened to destroy his family.
Peter: No, you're not supposed to hit it into the water.
Lois: But you hit it into the water.
Peter: I know I hit it into the water.
Lois: But why do they have water if you're not supposed to hit it there.
Peter: Because it's fun! We're having fun!
Shhh! The green shirt went by again! If it goes around 30 times in 5 minutes, you get to have a diet coke!
Peter: Alright, lets dope her up good -- get that mouth off her.
Cleveland: No Peter! The problem is you!
Lois: Oh I'm not doing anything special, just sitting here with the baby.
Stewie: Screw you too.
Peter, are you just trying to take a knee until the end of the show? Peter that's not gonna work, you can't just --
Chris: It's made of skittles! You want to eat the baby together on the way home?
Lois: Yeah, I'd like that.
Chris: Hey Heather I made your favorite cookies, now I want to hear about your day.
Peter: Hey Lois I heard Katherine Heigl likes to french kiss.
Lois: Oh my god, Chris treats that pile of junk better than Peter treats me!
Lois: I thought you said you'd take care of it!
Peter: I did. He slept with it, now he'll slowly grow to hate it for the next 20 years.
You shouldn't have to do porn to feel appreciated.
Lois: Is that what you really thoguht?
Peter: I did, I really did.