Gibbs: You and me need to talk. Alone. Hey - it's not a request. Petty Officer remove this man from the radio room. This radio's been sabotaged.
Meyer: Holy--
Gibbs: Stop.
Meyer: I have no--
Gibbs: Don't. Busted radio. Dead security officer. Wounded captain and him.
Meyer: Reynaldo? He--
Gibbs: He's wearing canvas shoes, not steel-toed boots. Who is he? Because he is not part of your crew.

SecNav: How do you do it? It's like pigs at the trough.
Gibbs: In some places it really is a trough.

Pavlenko: Agent Gibbs. I was relieved to learn of your safe return after the helicopter accident.
Gibbs: It was no accident. It was a missile.

Tony: Am I updating the FBI?
Gibbs: No, no not yet.
Tony: Got it. And if Leia asks?
Gibbs: Geeze, DiNozzo. Make something up. She's your girlfriend.
Tony: Why - did she say something? Did she mention me by name?

McGee - it's the overprotective big brother routine that's getting old.

I can't believe I called the POTUS a wise-ass


Moore: I gotta ask you something.
Gibbs: No she's not married. She's not dating anybody.
Moore: How'd you know I--
Gibbs: A wild guess.

Vance: A week ago I go in for a physical, feeling fine. Now they want to run more tests.
Gibbs: Yeah? What's wrong?
Vance: The chest x-ray showed that there's spots on my lungs.
Gibbs: What's your doctor say about that?
Vance: He's waiting for the results of the CAT scan that I'm taking tomorrow. I'll know more then.
Gibbs: He give a guess?
Vance: Lymphoma. Advance stage. I'm scared, Gibbs.
Gibbs: Yeah. Anybody would be.

Gibbs: Banks? Banks? Talk to me Banks.
Banks: Hannah.
Gibbs: Hannah. Where you from Hannah? What hometown?
Banks: I tried to steer clear, Gibbs. Couldn't shake it.
Gibbs: Hey you are one hell of a pilot.

Vance: Our intel says Sergei survived.
Gibbs: What? How? I hit him. He went down.
Vance: He got up. No body was recovered. And wherever he is now, knowing all this? There's a good chance he'll be gunning for us.
Gibbs: Not if we find him first.

Cal: I was there when it happened.
Gibbs: I know.
Cal: I tried to ....I wish there was something I could have done.
Gibbs: Cal. There wasn't.

Vance: I was respecting your situation, Gibbs. Let's not turn this into something else.
Gibbs: I don't need to be handled.
Vance: Your head is not here.
Gibbs: Don't tell me where my head is at. I am here, director. I am on this.
Vance: What did you say to me after Jackie died? What did you tell me to do? I was out for two months.
Gibbs: That was different.
Vance: It's been half a day, Gibbs. He was your father.
Gibbs: He was, and now he's dead. And I still have a job to do.
Vance: And I didn't?
Gibbs: I am not you.
Vance: As director of this agency, I'm placing you on administrative leave. As your friend I'm telling you to get the hell out of here before you say something I can't let go.
Gibbs: Leon. This job. It's all I have. Don't ever tell my team to hold out on me again.

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.