Gibbs: Nice nails, Tim.
McGee: Thanks, boss. You know, Delilah said---
Gibbs: Of course! You can't say manicure without m-a-n.

Tony: Hey, McGee! Why don't you do the digging. That seems to be your specialty.
Gibbs: And ruin the manicure? That's not going to happen.

Gibbs: We're doing this the hard way.
Judith: I like the hard way.

Gibbs: How'd you find my house?
Osario: Former PD, remember? I could find a flea on a rat's anus.

Judith: What's in the basement?
Gibbs: Hey! None of your business! Come back here!
Judith: Is it your naughty room? Wanna know my safe word? Kielbasa.

Judith: It's been really nice talking to you, sunshine. I hope we get to do it again soon, just the two of us.
Gibbs: I'm asleep, right? This is a dream?
Judith: Close your eyes and keep dreaming. It gets better and better.

Bishop: Seven minutes. That's how close Jake came. 420 seconds. I could have lost him Gibbs.
Gibbs: But you didn't lose him, Ellie. Jake's safe and he's coming home. Everything's going to be all right.

McGee: That's actually really interesting what he was doing.
Tony: Not really, McNerd. What is interesting is that the fact that his CO says he's been divorced three times, has no friends or family that still talks to him.
Gibbs: Yeah.

Gibbs: Are you doing okay?
Abby: I was this close to violating one of my most sacred principles.
Gibbs: But you didn't. That bomb was fake.
Abby: That's because I knew you were coming. I just knew it. But what if I didn't? What would I have done?
Gibbs: You'd have done the right thing, Abs. Whatever that is. I don't know much, but I know that.

Bishop: Want me to alert building security?
Gibbs: No. I'll shoot him.

Vance: You're the boss, boss. Although when I asked to tag along I thought this was going to be more like, you know, Butch and Sundance. You're the quick-draw, I'm the brains. Kind of co-equals.
Gibbs: Yeah, we're not.
Vance: So what, I'm Robin to your Batman?

Gibbs: You said you had nothing to prove.
Vance: Damn right.
Gibbs: Well you're not acting like it. The job changes, Leon. We change, for better or for worse.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.