NCIS

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Ncis
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Gibbs: Anything I can do?
Bishop: Uh, it's pretty self-explanatory, really.
Gibbs: Did you check to see if that little gizmo there is attached to that other giddy-bop?
Bishop: Mmm. Not yet. You think that'll do it?
Gibbs: If you spit on it. Sometimes that works.
Bishop: All right.
Tony: Oh, come on!

Gibbs: How's your love life, DiNozzo?
Tony: Huh?
Gibbs: You still seeing the secretary?
McGee: He means Andrea.
Bishop: Andrea. Hmm. Who's Andrea?
Tony: Andrea. Oh yeah. Yeah. She's uh, I mean, it's kind of on an as-needed basis.
Pride: Friends with benefits?
Gibbs: Yeah well those aren't benefits like dental insurance.

Speakman: Elected officials need to be strong. McLane was anything but.
Pride: I think you're being a little disrespectful.
Speakman: I think he deserved it.
Gibbs: Uh oh.

Pride: You stole that move from me. I used to be the one who stopped elevators.
Gibbs: Stole, my ass.

Pride: Laissez les bon temps rouler.
Gibbs: Let the good times roll.

Tony: Such a shame. Vintage 62 Telecaster.
Gibbs: Yeah. Real tragedy.
Tony: Yeah, cause--the dead people are a shame too. It's just....oh look, it's McGee!

Ducky: If you have to change the diaper of a sleeping child, you need to be efficient. I would also think that you need to---
Gibbs: Keep the lights low, and the room quiet.

Tony: The little autopsy gremlin is growing up.
Ducky: His whole life is going to change.
Gibbs: Over and over.

Palmer: I take it you heard?
Gibbs: Mmm hmm.
Palmer: Yeah, she saw the baby and just....I guess she felt the same way we felt when we first saw him. Can't fault her for that, right?
Gibbs: You should go home.
Palmer: I will. Yeah Breena and I, we just wanted to get all this stuff out of the house. You know, we wanted to give it back as soon as possible.
Gibbs: We.
Palmer: Me. She's hurting too, but she is so much stronger. She's ready to try again. And me - I feel like I can't breathe. I never felt this bad in my life, Gibbs.
Gibbs: Well, just wait until it's 3:00 in the morning, and your kid's running 104. You're just getting started.
Palmer: That's the point. I'm not starting, you know? Maybe I never will.
Gibbs: Well then fight for it, Palmer! That's what you do. You fight for your family. And sometimes, you fight like hell just to have one.
Palmer: You want me to fight, I feel like I just went ten rounds with Joe Louis.
Gibbs: Do you want to be a dad, Palmer? Because right now, this is being a dad.
Palmer: Maybe I'm not ready.
Gibbs: You wouldn't feel the way you feel, right now, if you weren't ready.

Bishop: You were a sniper. How did you do it?
Gibbs: Pull the trigger.
Bishop: Right. But what did you think about while you were taking aim?
Gibbs: Smoke-checking the target, Bishop

Bishop: Bruised ribs. Can't breathe. Part of the job.
Gibbs: No it isn't. But the paperwork is.

Delilah: Agent Gibbs, do you mind if Tim gives me a ride home?
Gibbs: No. Make him take you to breakfast first.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 220 in total

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

Tony: You know the "Men" in "Men's Room" is more of a rule than a suggestion, probie.
Bishop: Look, you two always get to go off giggling to the urinal together and I always get left out. So we're going to talk and we're going to do it here.