Bishop: If it did happen, and that is a big “if,” I wonder if Top Gun beach volleyball was involved, because I can totally picture Torres running around the sand in tight jeans…
Gibbs: Fantasize on your own time, Bishop!

Congresswoman Flemming: Oh, Gibbs, you’re here!
Gibbs: Yes. I work here.

Ducky: How time flies when one has a bio-anthropological phenomenon on one’s table.
Gibbs: Yeah? I thought it was just an old dead guy.

Just makin’ sure you were paying attention…

Gibbs [on pickpocketing Torres]

Torres: Are these suits really necessary?
Gibbs: Yes.
Ducky: Unless you want to risk instantaneous death due to sarin.
Torres: These suits are awesome.

Reeves: We spoke to your wife. She said you were at the office all night.
Gibbs: No nookie!

DiNozzo Senior: It’s about Judith. Your ex-lover.
Gibbs [chokes]: My what?!

Bishop: Gibbs, where are you going?
Gibbs: Overboard!

Keep your friends close. And the crazies even closer!

We all gonna fit on the ledge and hold hands? You wanna help Palmer, do your jobs!

Quinn: Do you believe in miracles?
Gibbs: No.
Quinn: Do you believe in Abby?
Gibbs: With all my heart!

Bishop, I’ve been listening to you for the last ten minutes, and I *still* don’t know what you’re saying.

NCIS Quotes

Worry’s a bully. It gives you nothing. It only takes.

Grace Confalone

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.