NCIS

Tuesdays 8:00 PM on CBS
Ncis
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Abby: Sometimes I love my job. And sometimes I have to crawl inside a giant septic tank.
Gibbs: Well it could be worse.
Abby: How?
Gibbs: Well I could have to climb in there with you.

Bishop: All we know for sure is that he went to college with Amanda Kendall. His murder could be a coincidence.
Gibbs: McGee.
McGee: Rule 39, Bishop.
Bishop: Right. No such thing as a coincidence. I knew that one.

Vance: If it were up to Admiral Kendall, he'd authorize Seal Team Six to exfil his daughter.
Gibbs: Well, one way to go.
Vance: I'm warming to the idea.

Gibbs: The VA's got a lot of programs for vets, Doc. I wonder why Durbin was living on the streets.
Ducky: I recently read a HUD report. It estimates on any given night, between fifty and sixty thousand men and women who have served, are sleeping on the streets or in shelters.

Bishop: Lorin Davis, you are under arrest for the murder of Staff Sergeant Martin Roe.
Gibbs: And when we're through with you the FBI wants to talk about the theft and sale of human organs.

Gibbs: What do you think, Duck?
Ducky: It was not that texting driver that killed the ensign, but that damned fool should be stripped of both his phone and his car.

Cabot: As you know, the Navy is trying harder than ever to eradicate sexual assault in their ranks.
Gibbs: Was Ensign Tate a rape suspect?
Cabot: Right to the point, as always. No Gibbs, Tate was a second-party complainant. He reported an assault on behalf of a friend.

Gibbs: You've been saving that one, Mo!
Cabot: You have no idea.

McGee: Look you've only been back to work a week. Maybe you should slow down.
Delilah: Slow down?
Gibbs: Delilah, what he's saying is let us check it first. Right Tim?

Bishop: How long do we let him play for?
Gibbs: Pride says it relaxes him, helps him to think.

Gibbs: Felix, did Dan take a bribe and frame Lourda for the murders?
Betts: We did some good, didn't we? We got some sandwiches inside. You guys hungry?
Pride: Sandwiches sound real good, Felix. Real good.

Pride: There's things you trust when you live in Louisiana. Trust the river will rise, people will rise to the occasion, no matter what the challenge. Trust the rain will never stop pouring, the drinks will never stop flowing and music will never stop playing. After all the hell you go through living here, you trust in God almighty, and you trust in friends and family. All those years, the man I call my brother was living a lie and I took it, hook line and sinker.
Gibbs: You know the truth now.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 220 in total

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.