NCIS

Tuesdays 8:00 PM on CBS
Ncis
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Pavlenko: Agent Gibbs. I was relieved to learn of your safe return after the helicopter accident.
Gibbs: It was no accident. It was a missile.

Tony: Am I updating the FBI?
Gibbs: No, no not yet.
Tony: Got it. And if Leia asks?
Gibbs: Geeze, DiNozzo. Make something up. She's your girlfriend.
Tony: Why - did she say something? Did she mention me by name?

McGee - it's the overprotective big brother routine that's getting old.

I can't believe I called the POTUS a wise-ass

Tony

Moore: I gotta ask you something.
Gibbs: No she's not married. She's not dating anybody.
Moore: How'd you know I--
Gibbs: A wild guess.

Vance: A week ago I go in for a physical, feeling fine. Now they want to run more tests.
Gibbs: Yeah? What's wrong?
Vance: The chest x-ray showed that there's spots on my lungs.
Gibbs: What's your doctor say about that?
Vance: He's waiting for the results of the CAT scan that I'm taking tomorrow. I'll know more then.
Gibbs: He give a guess?
Vance: Lymphoma. Advance stage. I'm scared, Gibbs.
Gibbs: Yeah. Anybody would be.

Gibbs: Banks? Banks? Talk to me Banks.
Banks: Hannah.
Gibbs: Hannah. Where you from Hannah? What hometown?
Banks: I tried to steer clear, Gibbs. Couldn't shake it.
Gibbs: Hey you are one hell of a pilot.

Vance: Our intel says Sergei survived.
Gibbs: What? How? I hit him. He went down.
Vance: He got up. No body was recovered. And wherever he is now, knowing all this? There's a good chance he'll be gunning for us.
Gibbs: Not if we find him first.

Cal: I was there when it happened.
Gibbs: I know.
Cal: I tried to ....I wish there was something I could have done.
Gibbs: Cal. There wasn't.

Vance: I was respecting your situation, Gibbs. Let's not turn this into something else.
Gibbs: I don't need to be handled.
Vance: Your head is not here.
Gibbs: Don't tell me where my head is at. I am here, director. I am on this.
Vance: What did you say to me after Jackie died? What did you tell me to do? I was out for two months.
Gibbs: That was different.
Vance: It's been half a day, Gibbs. He was your father.
Gibbs: He was, and now he's dead. And I still have a job to do.
Vance: And I didn't?
Gibbs: I am not you.
Vance: As director of this agency, I'm placing you on administrative leave. As your friend I'm telling you to get the hell out of here before you say something I can't let go.
Gibbs: Leon. This job. It's all I have. Don't ever tell my team to hold out on me again.

Alejandro: You think I'm dirt? You think my father was dirt?
Gibbs: Damned right I do

Rivera: I have freed the devil's men. And they hate you as much as I do. Sooner or later, they will strike.
Gibbs: The only one who escaped was Lateef Mir. That's him. They let you watch TV in here? You should turn on the news tonight. You'll see his picture. Your picture. It'll be great.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 221 in total

NCIS Quotes

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.