McGee: Mr. Hackett? The password, please?
Hackett: And if I refuse?
Gibbs: A shower! A cold one!

Vance: You intentionally infected an NCIS agent with a computer virus?!
Admiral Chase: I was trying to motivate him.
Vance: By committing a felony? Five felonies!
Admiral Chase: Look, I meant to send it to Tim only.
Gibbs: Viruses spread.
Admiral Chase: Look, are you going after me, or the hacker who started this?
Gibbs: We can do both.

You, me, Henry. We’re all the same guy. You’re just a few decades behind.

Gibbs [to Reeves]

Bishop: If it did happen, and that is a big “if,” I wonder if Top Gun beach volleyball was involved, because I can totally picture Torres running around the sand in tight jeans…
Gibbs: Fantasize on your own time, Bishop!

Congresswoman Flemming: Oh, Gibbs, you’re here!
Gibbs: Yes. I work here.

Ducky: How time flies when one has a bio-anthropological phenomenon on one’s table.
Gibbs: Yeah? I thought it was just an old dead guy.

Just makin’ sure you were paying attention…

Gibbs [on pickpocketing Torres]

Torres: Are these suits really necessary?
Gibbs: Yes.
Ducky: Unless you want to risk instantaneous death due to sarin.
Torres: These suits are awesome.

Reeves: We spoke to your wife. She said you were at the office all night.
Gibbs: No nookie!

DiNozzo Senior: It’s about Judith. Your ex-lover.
Gibbs [chokes]: My what?!

Bishop: Gibbs, where are you going?
Gibbs: Overboard!

Keep your friends close. And the crazies even closer!

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

Gibbs: It’s strictly voluntary.
McGee: I’m good.
Gibbs: Well, you got new responsibilities.
McGee: Boss, I appreciate that, but… don’t forget, I’m an NCIS Special Agent.