Gibbs: Tobias? What the hell’s going on?
Fornell: What’s going on? You got me fired!

Welcome to the uncomfortable room with the one-way mirror.

This is one of the obligations of the job… I will never feel comfortable with.

Gibbs [about notification of the suicide]

Vance: Agent Torres, you disobeyed a direct order!
Torres: I thought it was more a suggestion…
Vance: That’s *not* the direction you want to go in!
Torres: Fine. I made a choice.
Gibbs: Not your call to make, Nick. You put your partner at risk.

McGee: Where’s they go?
Gibbs: Not the question.
McGee: What happened?
Gibbs: *That’s* the question!

Parents always love their kids. No matter what happens.

I keep forgetting you’re really good at what you do!

Sloane [to Gibbs]

Gibbs: You ever see this guy before?
Amber: It’s hard to tell with the maggots crawling out of his eyeballs, but no.

Jimmy: Can people really talk to the dead?
Ducky: You’re seriously asking me? The real question is--
Gibbs: Can they talk back?
Jimmy: And the answer is--
Gibbs: No!

Gibbs: Lawyer’s calling me to the stand. If I tell the truth, a man would lose everything. This man… known him a long time. Has a daughter.
Sloane: He’s your friend. Mm. And if you lie to protect your friend, you could be re-sentencing an innocent man to death.
Gibbs: Yeah.
Sloane: That is quite a conundrum, isn’t it? So, what do you think of my cabinet?
Gibbs: I think you’re trying to distract me with a handcrafted piece of furniture.
Sloane: And why would I do that?
Gibbs: Because you don’t know the answers any more than me.
Sloane: You’re right. It *is* handmade.

Reeves: What a load of bollocks.
Doctor Cho [confused]: What?
Gibbs: Cut the crap, Doc.

Hug on your own time!

NCIS Quotes

I'm more of a Super-Mario guy, myself.

Captain Wescott

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.