Just makin’ sure you were paying attention…

Gibbs [on pickpocketing Torres]

Torres: Are these suits really necessary?
Gibbs: Yes.
Ducky: Unless you want to risk instantaneous death due to sarin.
Torres: These suits are awesome.

Reeves: We spoke to your wife. She said you were at the office all night.
Gibbs: No nookie!

DiNozzo Senior: It’s about Judith. Your ex-lover.
Gibbs [chokes]: My what?!

Bishop: Gibbs, where are you going?
Gibbs: Overboard!

Keep your friends close. And the crazies even closer!

We all gonna fit on the ledge and hold hands? You wanna help Palmer, do your jobs!

Quinn: Do you believe in miracles?
Gibbs: No.
Quinn: Do you believe in Abby?
Gibbs: With all my heart!

Bishop, I’ve been listening to you for the last ten minutes, and I *still* don’t know what you’re saying.

‘You think you’re alone in the dark. Close your eyes. Remember everything good.’ My mom said that to me just before she died. Smart lady.

Fornell: Hey, Gibbs! You gotta come over here and push down on my pelvis!
Gibbs: I'm gonna pass on that.

Fornell: What on earth are you doing?!
Emily: Me? What are *you* doing, Dad?
Fornell: I *was* sleeping!
Emily: I noticed. Still on Uncle Gibbs's couch for some reason.
Fornell: You nearly scared me to death. And "Uncle Gibbs" is probably upstairs loading his bazooka as we speak!
Gibbs [calmly eating cereal]: Nope. I'm good.

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

‘You think you’re alone in the dark. Close your eyes. Remember everything good.’ My mom said that to me just before she died. Smart lady.

Gibbs