Please I don't miss people I dismiss them.

Ellie: First time I've ever been jealous of you.
Laurie: Thank you.
Ellie: You're welcome.

Holy big hat, I love it - hides so much of your face.

Jules: All together now -
Everyone: If it's on the internet, it must be true!
Jules: Exactly now, everyone sip please.
Travis: Afternoon booze bags. What are we celebrating now?
Jules: Science.

Are you stealing the plot of Erin Brockovich?

Laurie: I feel like people respect my ideas more when they think they came out of magazines.
Ellie: No.

It's not my fault that I am allergic to latex and birth control pills.

I have a rule that every kiss should last three seconds - it's what the Obama's do.

That's how it started for my Uncle Max - then he bought some wigs and changed his name to Maxine, but you know what is really funny? He still goes by Max.

As my uncle dad always told me, check yourself, before you wreck yourself.

I always hold eye contact with people, it totally freaks out my gyno.

Women do love when men fight for them. There is nothing less sexy than a man that respects a restraining order.