This is my fault. I should have written a note by the phone that says "Bobby, do not answer my phone." Oh, I was wrong here it is.

He's like a newborn calf on wheels.

One Soy Latte for Lady J. Love Explosion.

You know how hard it is to shower when you don't have a shower?

Ellie: You use four towels every shower
Jules: Face, body, hair, feet!

Laurie: Wait, why do we have to have coffee over here?
Jules: 'Cause wherever I am is where we have coffee.
Ellie: But this is horrible.

I'm gonna need a bigger boat.

Jules: I fought a bum for wine and lost.
Ellie: Didn't you mom teach you bums always win wine fights?

Jules: It's time to suck up!
Ellie: That's for boys.
Jules: It's time to uterus up!

Dear Lord. You know I don't bother you unless it's important. Except for that time I asked you to speed up my bangs.

I own the shush clap.

Laurie: I went to a crap school in a crap neighborhood and reading really got me out.
Jules: It did?
Laurie: No, car modeling did. But it's really fun to say reading did.

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Ellie, I saw Andy's feet...I'm so sorry.
Ellie: No one understands.

Take OFF the mom goggles!

Laurie