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Cougar-town

Ellie: You use four towels every shower
Jules: Face, body, hair, feet!

Laurie: Wait, why do we have to have coffee over here?
Jules: 'Cause wherever I am is where we have coffee.
Ellie: But this is horrible.

I'm gonna need a bigger boat.

Jules: I fought a bum for wine and lost.
Ellie: Didn't you mom teach you bums always win wine fights?

Jules: It's time to suck up!
Ellie: That's for boys.
Jules: It's time to uterus up!

Dear Lord. You know I don't bother you unless it's important. Except for that time I asked you to speed up my bangs.

I own the shush clap.

Laurie: I went to a crap school in a crap neighborhood and reading really got me out.
Jules: It did?
Laurie: No, car modeling did. But it's really fun to say reading did.

Ellie: Way to self-compliment.
Jules: I thought I snuck it in there.

Laurie: Jules I didn't know you sponsored an African child.
Jules: Oh yeah, little Omari. He's 10. I gotta say those letters are getting a little repetitive. It's hot; I'm hungry; there's snakes.

Nanny: He's allergic to everything on Ellie's list.
Jules: He's allergic to Telemundo?
Nanny: I think that's just for me.

Men start being needy so young. Grayson's still like that. But instead of letting him nuzzle up with my boobs I let him...nope, it's the same thing. He dives right in like he owns the place.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 300 in total

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Cougar Town Quotes

Wooo! How can I do woo wrong?

Jules

Laurie [to Jules for picture]: Arch your back and stick out your chest
Ellie: And say classy!

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