Andy: Is that the candle holder from the room?
Jules: Forget about it.

Oh my God! I want to snort this!

Laurie: What is with the stomach kissing?
Jules: He's trying to jumpstart my uterus!

Ellie: What do you want him to do? Live here until he's 60 so you two can spend every second of your lives together?
Jules: Oh my God that would be amazing.

Laurie: Did you just one night standed by your own son?
Jules: He said we were going to brunch.
Laurie: Oh no.

Travis: Mom, that's not you.
Jules: Oh, it's me, I toss asses!

What a great day! Man, this calls for some celebration wine. Oh, sorry, this is also my there's nothing good on TV wine.

Grayson: Like Children of the Corn.
Ellie: I crown you King of the Wussies.
Jules: They don't blink.
Ellie: I feel cold.
Grayson: Told ya!

Ellie: What the hell? I don't want to have see this everyday.
Jules: Really, rainbows get you riled up?

Well don't try to stop me if I'm Vogueing on top of a cab.

Grayson: You're not my Mom.
Jules: Don't sass me! I am not in the mood.

Jules: So you're telling me that you didn't wear kneepads because the other guys were making fun of you?
Grayson: And because I'm not a baby.

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Did you finally get a visit from the nutsack fairy?

Ellie