Jules: Sweetie, this should be the gang.
Ellie: It totally should.

Nothing on two legs should walk that loud.

Hey fellas, I'm trying to talk to my man so could you take that thrashing down to the park?

Jules: All I want to do is make you happy.
Grayson: Really? Maybe tonight we'll..
Jules: ... it's not about sex, babe. But I want you to try to keep listening.
Grayson: I'll try my best.

I hope I NEVER pee this out!

I don't believe in ghosts, because if they were real I'd like to think that I would be felt up all the time.

Tom is our interhouse-shuttle. I pay him with head pats.

Stop being a parade rainer-onner. We're taking a group vacation!

Jules: This is the first time on this trip it's been just the ladies.
Ellie: It's an embarrassment of bitches.

Andy: Is that the candle holder from the room?
Jules: Forget about it.

Oh my God! I want to snort this!

Laurie: What is with the stomach kissing?
Jules: He's trying to jumpstart my uterus!

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!