Jules: Andy let the ice cream melt so he had to die.
Ellie: It's only pretend murder. We used to fight so much about the little things, now, whenever I get so mad that when I want to kill him I just do it.
Andy: It's been a great tool in our marriage

Grayson: I thought you wanted to do all the talking?
Jules: Speechless.

When it comes to love I'm a street rapping poet yo.

Jules: Sweetie, this should be the gang.
Ellie: It totally should.

Nothing on two legs should walk that loud.

Hey fellas, I'm trying to talk to my man so could you take that thrashing down to the park?

Jules: All I want to do is make you happy.
Grayson: Really? Maybe tonight we'll..
Jules: ... it's not about sex, babe. But I want you to try to keep listening.
Grayson: I'll try my best.

I hope I NEVER pee this out!

I don't believe in ghosts, because if they were real I'd like to think that I would be felt up all the time.

Tom is our interhouse-shuttle. I pay him with head pats.

Stop being a parade rainer-onner. We're taking a group vacation!

Jules: This is the first time on this trip it's been just the ladies.
Ellie: It's an embarrassment of bitches.

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

We're even wearing the same unisex cologne. "Both" by Bruce Jenner.

Laurie