Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar-town

Nothing on two legs should walk that loud.

Hey fellas, I'm trying to talk to my man so could you take that thrashing down to the park?

Jules: All I want to do is make you happy.
Grayson: Really? Maybe tonight we'll..
Jules: ... it's not about sex, babe. But I want you to try to keep listening.
Grayson: I'll try my best.

I hope I NEVER pee this out!

I don't believe in ghosts, because if they were real I'd like to think that I would be felt up all the time.

Tom is our interhouse-shuttle. I pay him with head pats.

Stop being a parade rainer-onner. We're taking a group vacation!

Jules: This is the first time on this trip it's been just the ladies.
Ellie: It's an embarrassment of bitches.

Andy: Is that the candle holder from the room?
Jules: Forget about it.

Oh my God! I want to snort this!

Laurie: What is with the stomach kissing?
Jules: He's trying to jumpstart my uterus!

Ellie: What do you want him to do? Live here until he's 60 so you two can spend every second of your lives together?
Jules: Oh my God that would be amazing.

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 300 in total
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