Dr. Worth: Sounds to me you're leading a double life.
Jonathan: I think that I am. I'm like a Russian doll. There's all these versions of me in me.
Dr. Worth: There's only one you. And he's running away from his life.

Jonathan: Why was [Priscilla] your best wife?
George: Everything with her is as intimate as kissing. I never really got over it. Most orgasmic woman I've ever been with.

Yousef: (looking at Jonathan's black eye then to Ray) Lovers quarrel?
Jonathan: Ummm...more or less.

Jonathan: God, that's the biggest herpes blister I've ever seen in my life.
George: Thank you. I'm very proud of it.

Jonathan: Oh my God, what the hell happened to your lip? You were stung by a bee?
George: Yes. A bee with herpes.

(Jennifer suspecting her boyfriend is cheating)
Jonathan: Are you sure?
Jennifer: That's what my therapist said. 'Are you sure?' Yes, I'm sure! God, it's like I'm surrounded by Holocaust deniers. It happened. I'm sure!

Jonathan: 'I love you more than you know. Jonathan.'
Suzanne: That was a nice note. But you don't have to read your name in the end.
Jonathan: I know. I'm very literal-minded. You know that.

It's dangerous to go cold turkey - I'm down to white wine.

These one hitters should really be called three hitters.

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