Is vodka really made from potatoes?

Jonathan: I'm really hung over from that vodka.
Ray: Well, you gotta write something. I did my best work hung over. I have less brain cells to confuse the issue.

Jonathan: Sorry, George, what's up?
George: What if I do this and I don't come back?
Jonathan: What do you mean?
George: Tha-- that I turn completely gay.
Jonathan: Well, then it was meant to be.
George: (sighs) You know what, you're absolutely right!

Suzanne: I thought tonight was gonna be the Brighton Beach night we never had. Remember, that's what you told me? And I stupidly believed you. Instead, you drink vodka and you leave me alone while you chase after some Russian singer because you're investigating a case.
Jonathan: But I was doing it in the name of love. Somebody else's love, but--
Suzanne: You weren't doing this for anybody else but you. You're selfish. You live in a selfish fantasy world.

Jonathan: Irenna?
Irenna: Yes. And you're the private cop?
Jonathan: Yes. Or detective. Or investigator. They all work.

(to Jonathan) I hope your heart is broken many times because it means you would have loved many times.


Jonathan: Your therapist sounds crazy!
George: I know, I know, but most therapists are. That's what gives them insight.

Dimitri: If you want to keep a woman, you have to be strong. Women need us to be commanding and decisive.
Jonathan: But do they? I don't know. Maybe they do.
Dimitri: They don't.

Jonathan: How long were you with her?
Dimitri: One night.
Jonathan: Just one night?
Dimitri: Oh, one night, if the love is perfect, is all you need.
Jonathan: Hmm.
Dimitri: Also, I was arrested the next day.

George: Brooklyn's exciting! It's the new Manhattan. I may have to move to Brooklyn.
Jonathan: If Brooklyn's the new Manhattan, what's Manhattan?
George: Manhattan's the new Queens. And Queens is the new... Brooklyn. And Brooklyn is the--

Jonathan: Leah has kids, and you guys have been together for a while.
Ray: Yeah, but that is terrible. Those kids pay me no respect. They call me fat... and hairy. You know, they could lose a few pounds themselves.

Jonathan: I'll call you back. Is that okay?
Caroline: Alright, sweetheart. Don't be a stranger. You know that all of my writers are like my husbands.

Bored to Death Quotes

Men face reality. Women don't. That why men need to drink.


I've always been intrigued by Stockholm Syndrome. Make me think of my childhood.