Jonathan Ames Quotes
Is vodka really made from potatoes?
Jonathan: I'm really hung over from that vodka.
Ray: Well, you gotta write something. I did my best work hung over. I have less brain cells to confuse the issue.
Jonathan: Sorry, George, what's up?
George: What if I do this and I don't come back?
Jonathan: What do you mean?
George: Tha-- that I turn completely gay.
Jonathan: Well, then it was meant to be.
George: (sighs) You know what, you're absolutely right!
Suzanne: I thought tonight was gonna be the Brighton Beach night we never had. Remember, that's what you told me? And I stupidly believed you. Instead, you drink vodka and you leave me alone while you chase after some Russian singer because you're investigating a case.
Jonathan: But I was doing it in the name of love. Somebody else's love, but--
Suzanne: You weren't doing this for anybody else but you. You're selfish. You live in a selfish fantasy world.
Irenna: Yes. And you're the private cop?
Jonathan: Yes. Or detective. Or investigator. They all work.
(to Jonathan) I hope your heart is broken many times because it means you would have loved many times.Dimitri
Jonathan: Your therapist sounds crazy!
George: I know, I know, but most therapists are. That's what gives them insight.
Dimitri: If you want to keep a woman, you have to be strong. Women need us to be commanding and decisive.
Jonathan: But do they? I don't know. Maybe they do.
Dimitri: They don't.
Jonathan: How long were you with her?
Dimitri: One night.
Jonathan: Just one night?
Dimitri: Oh, one night, if the love is perfect, is all you need.
Dimitri: Also, I was arrested the next day.
George: Brooklyn's exciting! It's the new Manhattan. I may have to move to Brooklyn.
Jonathan: If Brooklyn's the new Manhattan, what's Manhattan?
George: Manhattan's the new Queens. And Queens is the new... Brooklyn. And Brooklyn is the--
Jonathan: Leah has kids, and you guys have been together for a while.
Ray: Yeah, but that is terrible. Those kids pay me no respect. They call me fat... and hairy. You know, they could lose a few pounds themselves.
Jonathan: I'll call you back. Is that okay?
Caroline: Alright, sweetheart. Don't be a stranger. You know that all of my writers are like my husbands.