Kidnapper: Do you have any rich friends?
Jonathan: Yes, I have one, but I really don't think I should involve my friends.

Jonathan: Oh my God! What is that?
Ray: I've got long foreskin. Not everybody is Jewish ya know.

Can you please look at my penis and tell me I'm an adult male.

I think I may have the smallest penis in the world.

Jonathan: George, why are you having an affair with your ex-wife?
George: Because I've never fallen out of loved with her.

The meat packing district really has become Los Angeles.

Ray: How does that feel?
Jonathan: It feels comforting actually.
Ray: Does George have a nice ass?
Jonathan: It was very white.
Ray: I figured.

(to Stella) I thought you were happy with me and I found your G-spot and everything.

You know Stella, you're the best thing in my life.

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